September.....such a fabulously new-page, fresh-start kind of a month, don't you think? I'm pretty sure that for many of us, September will always have a new-year feel to it, possibly more than January does. It's that distinct back to school vibe, all those memories of new shoes, fresh stationery and timetabled routines from childhood which also extends for so many years (decades) into parenting life. Like many of you, I am still embedded in the school system with Little B just starting into year 10 (four more years of school education still to go), so September still really does mean fresh starts (and new shoes) and a return to routine here in the Attic household.
The Autumn Equinox is two weeks away and I find myself mentally preparing for the end of summer, although really I spent much of August trying to ready myself for the upcoming change in season. It's been a month where I've tried to squeeze every last drip of summer out of my days, making the most of the daylight hours and spending as much time outdoors as possible.
Getting out and about into the countryside has felt really, really good, and J and I have been on some lovely long walks in the Yorkshire Dales this summer.
We've also made the most of local, mud-free footpaths (summer has been quite wet here in the North) and have walked many times at Bolton Abbey, up on the beautiful heather moorland, along the canal tow paths and round our local woodland.
Some evenings, the late summer light has been so atmospheric and evocative that I've found myself pulling on shoes and heading out to walk so that I can soak the last of the day into my soul. In the above photo, it's around 8.30pm and I'm climbing up a steep grassy field close to home because the colours in the sky made it impossible for me to stay indoors. A beautiful shiny half moon....
....and the most breath taking golden purple light as the sun sets, oh, this light and these colours!! I wonder how on earth can there be so many people sat indoors in front of their televisions on evenings like this?? I think I do have a mild obsession with light (and colour of course), actually it's probably not a mild thing at all, more a deep passion which is so much a part of who I am and how I see the world.
After a busy April-July period where I was away from home quite a lot and dealing with various personal stresses and worries, most of August was spent at home in the slow lane. Waking up slowly, gentle morning routines, lazy afternoons, days spent pottering and pootling, resting and recharging. I know that I am exceptionally lucky that I get to stay at home and adopt a "holiday" routine with Little B during the school holidays, and I do really have a deep gratitude for the freedom in my days.
As I've often said here, I truly believe that an appreciation for the sweetness of simple, everyday life is the key to happiness. Embracing gentle routine, searching out joyful snippets in each day, really paying attention to the visual details of everyday life, and forming a practice of daily gratitude and mindfulness all have a huge impact on wellbeing. Because I have a thriving creative mind, I always feel compelled to photograph a lot of these details and snippets of joy in my days, and so I preserve the evidence of my own mindful practices.
During the past four months when my mental health has been on shaky ground, I totally lost the desire to share my observations here. I was still taking photographs (thousands of them) but I just couldn't bring myself to share them and talk about them. I thought about it so often - many, many times each day I thought about blogging, about sitting myself down and creating something to share, but there never seemed to be enough creative energy to see it through. My soul felt sad and I've had real life worries taking over my thoughts. I knew I would find my way back at some point because my creativity was still ticking over, but I have needed to wait for the sadness and worry to ease.
During these strange months I've been holding on tightly to my well developed routines, keeping myself walking on familiar pathways, doing familiar, comforting things. And slowly, slowly, slowly, I have begun to see glimmers of my happy mood re-surfacing. I don't think I can really tell you about all the things that piled up inside my mind, all the insecurities and worries and fears.
It had a lot to do with health matters, mostly J who had a scare back in April that shook us up quite badly and we are still dealing with the aftermath. He doesn't read my blog, but he is an intensely private person and I know he would not be happy with me for talking about him online, so I shall say no more. But I think looking back I can see how that event set me off on a rickety and unwelcome downward spiral of sorts, and while I was managing to stay strong and supportive and optimistic on the outside, my inner self was in a terrible muddle.
Anyhow.....my goodness......I am rambling, and I don't want to drag myself (or you) any further down this road really.
So...let's get back to giving you a brief rundown of where I've been and what has been occupying my time during the past four months.
As I mentioned, I've been away from home quite a bit this year, travelling both in the UK and abroad which has been really lovely. Me and my big pink suitcase (often packed full of yarn) have taken many journeys together and despite the British railways being incredibly difficult this summer (cancellations, delays, strikes etc etc), I've enjoyed the distraction of being on the move.
I think I mentioned in my last blog post back in April that I'd been away teaching a short 4 day retreat at Bagden Hall in West Yorkshire? I continue to really LOVE working with the Stitchtopia team and it's such a privilege to be able to share my passion for colour and crochet with such lovely people while at the same time feeling like I'm on holiday!
After the April retreat, I did two more retreats teaching the same project at Bagden Hall (with two more fabulous visits to Stylecraft as well) in May and June. If you are interested in my UK retreats with Stitchtopia, I'll be repeating them again next year (same place, same itinerary) - you can find out more information online ((here)).
At the end of May during the Spring Bank half term week, I was able to persuade J and Little B to take a trip to my beloved Saltburn-by-the-Sea. We rented a cute apartment in an old Victorian building and spent a few days walking and beachcombing and generally enjoying the relaxation of this quiet little coastal place.
In June I worked on a new crochet design for my first overseas retreat of the year.....in beautiful Portugal. I've been to Faro a few times in the past and loved it, but this time I was going to see both Porto and Lisbon and I was really looking forward to it. Designing and preparing a project for a crochet retreat is quite a big task and at times a little stressful. I source the yarn, create and pack the kits, sample and design a suitable project (which includes colour teaching elements), lesson plan and pattern write. So by the time I come to the retreat I have already lived and breathed the project quite intensively (it's always a one hundred and ten percent affair for me when I design something new) and am buzzing with the fact that I then get to pass on all my knowledge and passion for creative colourwork to a wonderful group of enthusiastic crocheters.
The icing on the cake is the trip itself - oh my goodness - I cannot express how WONDEFUL it is to visit places that contain so much visual inspiration and character, it fills my cup to overflowing. Portugal was just incredible and I took hundreds of photos while I was there. Stitchtopia retreats are very well organised, with three days spent in a "workshop" type setting working on the crochet project, and the other days spent on organised excursions - we get to see and experience a lot. Historical tours, cultural tours, boat trips, gardens, museums, cathedrals, palaces, wine tasting, sight seeing....it's all so bloomin' lovely!
Next week I'm away again, teaching the same colourwork project with a new group. This time I'm going to Morocco, so I'm anticipating that it will be another very memorable trip.
I came back from Portugal in early July, and after a week at home catching up with myself, I was away again down to Dorset. It's a fairly long journey by train (7 hours) but as I mentioned earlier I do like train travel and I was looking forward to spending time with Lady B and planting my feet on my home turf/shingle for a little while. It was really good to be back "home" and although it was only a 3 night stay, I did manage to make it into a mini holiday of sorts. I was looking through my Dorset photos earlier and saw the harbour and beach, brightly coloured market stalls, bunches of flowers, coffee and cake...it was a good visit all in all, if a bit on the short side.
Of course my main reason for going to Dorset is always to visit my Dad who is deteriorating quite rapidly but still hanging on in there. My brother and I had a necessary (but pretty awful) online meeting earlier in the summer with the "frailty team" who visit my Dad's care home each week and look after the very fragile residents. My Dad is fading rapidly, and for anyone who has been in this position with a poorly parent will know that it's not easy when you start to reach the end of life decision making.
Anyhow...life goes on, and I do my best to just cope with the reality of where I am at on this journey as a daughter. I've found myself thinking back over my childhood a great deal of late, trying to sort out the complexity of emotions. Facing up to the fact that in the near future I will have both of my parents gone has hit me quite hard. I realised that I still carry an awful lot of baggage that I didn't deal with when my mum died suddenly seven years ago, and in small, quiet ways I've been trying to unload some of the hurt and anger that still sits very heavily on my heart. My childhood was tricky, and my relationship with my parents even trickier, it's been a lot to think about.
When I came home from Dorset I felt mildly unwell, kind of exhausted and just down hearted in my soul. I spent days in some sort of mental and emotional recovery, giving myself permission to just rest, take naps and be kind to myself. I think it was the right thing to do and looking back at photos from the end of July, they are full of cosy home moments, walks in nature, cups of coffee and knitting (a pair of socks on the go, my train travel project)
At the very end of July, we took a proper holiday which was a real treat. It was the three of us as the older two offspring are both working and have each had their own summer holidays abroad with friends this year. We booked very late, a spur of the moment decision, and took ourselves away to the sunny island of Corfu in Greece for a week. It was bloomin' hot, and we spent the week being lazy, napping, reading, swimming, sleeping and eating yummy food. Wonderful, and very much appreciated I can tell you. It made me realise how important holidays are, and that even though I've been away from home on many lovely trips this year, most of them have had work or heavy emotions attached to them. Our week in Greece was blessedly free of those things, it was relaxed, easy and very restorative, just what J and I both needed at the time.
So I think we are almost caught up at last and I've been writing this blog post for most of the day on and off. Do you know, I have sorted and filed over two thousand photos from the past four months and there is so, so much I would like to show you. At the moment I'm not entirely sure how to go about it but I'll give it some thought in the next few weeks.
Now for something exciting - some BLANKET news! Back in the spring I started work on a new blanket design and it has been nothing but pure pleasure right from the start. Some blankets are a badly behaved challenge, most spend a good period in the naughty corner, a few even get thrown in the bin and re-started. But this latest one has been like a very pretty, quietly spoken, mild mannered child and hasn't caused me one jot of bother. It's a miracle really, because my concentration levels and attention span have been seriously lacking, so it almost feels as if this blanket has quietly made itself.
I'm looking forward to telling you all about it, and of course sharing the inspiration and design with you. It has a nostalgic floral theme and is called "Flowerpress" - ahhhh, it's sooooo pretty!
I hope that you'll forgive me being very last minute with telling you about my new blanket, I think you can probably tell after reading this blog post that I've not really been feeling myself and have been weirdly unsure about my creative endeavours this year. Anyhow....there we have it. There will be a free pattern of course, and a full photo tutorial - my usual over-the-top-ness to hold your hand through the making process. Tuesday 10th September is the official "launch day" for Flowerpress yarn kits ....which I know is very soon....the day after tomorrow in fact.
If I get time tomorrow I'll come here and show you some more blanket photos, I think maybe we could all use some happy floral vibes?! Until then, thank you so, so much for reading and sticking with me on this crazy life journey in all its wobbly ups and downs, I am really grateful, and also very glad that my bloggy voice has come back. ((thank you)) for being here x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I was out running a few errands this morning and on return to home I squealed to see that the postman had left a Wool Warehouse bag. Oh great joy! It was even more gratifying when I got inside to look over the beautiful selection of yarn for Woodpress. I had to spend some time just feeling and gazing at it. I live in Fort Wayne,Indiana, USA and love getting Wool Warehouse mail.
Last Dec.1 I gave my daughter the Yuletide blanket for the first day of Advent and it was such a loved gift my 2 teenage granddaughters requested ones for their birthdays, so I finished Sungold for ones bday in July and Dahlia is on the hook for a Dec. Bday. I have just loved making them. My next labor of love will be Woodpress . I hope to get to keep this one. I live alone and the design and colors of your blankets are so comforting to me and a beautiful process to make. Thank you!
I'm so happy you are feeling much better. I remember the time of aging parents was a real emotional challenge. I will be thinking of you.
Posted by: Margaret Miller | September 21, 2024 at 07:56 PM
Loved the photo of the golden n purple sunset. I was on a bus once when the vista changed and I was able to view a fantastic sunset. Everyone else on the bus had their eyes glued to a book or something else in their hands. I was the only one looking around. I felt like screaming at them to pay attention and enjoy everyday life.
I, too, have been checking each week to see if you had time for a blog in-between life. Oops, missed this. But then I have been under weather. It happens. Saw something on FB that made me look at you blog. Enjoy what life you have and those in it.
Posted by: Patricia A | September 20, 2024 at 07:43 AM
Thank you for sharing your story and what’s been happening with you. You’ve had so much going on, it’s no wonder you’ve not been up to blogging. Your new blanket looks lovely - I’m glad it’s given you a smooth ride when you needed it most. All the best to you, Lucy.
Posted by: Debra | September 19, 2024 at 01:53 PM
I've just cone back, too! I timed that well! Reading your blog always tops up my joy levels as you remind me to notice the precious 'little' things xxx
Posted by: Debbie | September 19, 2024 at 09:16 AM
Glad to see you back .
As well as the back to school vibe, I always feel Autumn can be a time for reflecting and renewing - the planting of new ideas, like bulbs to appear above the earth as Spring draws near.
With very best wishes for a restful Autumn. X
Posted by: Ali | September 17, 2024 at 06:00 PM
Thank you for sharing all of your beautiful photos and encouraging words. I've been in my own rough patch recently, and visiting your blog today felt so lovely. :)
Posted by: Ashley | September 17, 2024 at 01:04 AM
Yay for you……and a new blanket!
Just in time for my enforced inactivity starting on 14th Oct with my bunion correction op!
Thanks!
Glad to see you back!
Posted by: Linda Pankhurst | September 16, 2024 at 07:50 AM
So happy you’re back ! I missed you very very much.
I have been reading your stories and discovering your amazing photos for years and even if I had never been in GB, I feel the atmosphere. Thank you !
I made five blankets for my daughters, my cousins and me (just one = not enough !), and I am still learning crocheting with you.
I hope the life will be kind with you and your family…
Posted by: Bożena | September 15, 2024 at 02:03 PM
Hi Lucy
I can not remember when I checked in to read a blog last... it must be months if not years. I read yours today and want to give you a big comfort hug. This phase of life is a challenging one from many angles viewed... It is all about the transitions of all kinds... you are not alone.
Thank you for sharing and opening up. I'm glad you seem to land on your feet after all. I'm so impressed you still blog, I've written posts on and off throughout the years but never pressed "post". Saying that I do feel a little bit of a desire to return. It is hard though after so many years of silence. I think I burned out. Stopped writing and stopped snapping pictures. Stopped crochet, stopped everything. But I'm determined to find my way back to my creative self. Cause it saved me once and it will save me again, that I know. First out is surgery for carpal tunnel next week and my doctor has promised me I will be able to get back to my yarn and hook after that. I can't wait.
Take care my lovely. Keep on walking the hills, fields, and forests, keep on being mindful of the small things in everyday life, keep on collecting gratitude notes, keep on being creative and I'm sure you'll be fine. I should tell myself to do the same thing. :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Annette
Posted by: Annette | September 15, 2024 at 08:23 AM
So very hard when your dad is on the end of life path. We tried very hard to treasure each moment with my dad and at the end we definitely wanted to celebrate a life well lived, even though deep inside you are screaming with sadness. It’s a hard path but it does get put into its rightful place with time. I wish you strength and love.
Posted by: Mary | September 12, 2024 at 11:29 AM
So happy you are back!!
Posted by: Alisa | September 11, 2024 at 05:08 PM
It's so lovely to hear from you again Lucy. I have been checking weekly to see if you have posted. I am sorry to hear you have been having a hard time, But hope you are beginning to get back to your old self.
I have recently retired from 25 years as a teaching assistant and wholeheartedly agree with you about September having a new year feel to it. I am trying to find a new pattern to my life now that work is not at the centre of my days.
Living with the cares of an ageing parent is quite hard as I know from experience so I feel for you.
Sending Love Jane
Posted by: Jane Halvey | September 11, 2024 at 04:18 PM
Hello! Thank you for sharing your wonderful photographs and some of your spring/summer. I hope your husband is making/has made a full recovery. Life sometimes challenges us and gets in the way of our normal routines so it has been good to read you have been able to enjoy some of this summer. I'm so pleased that you were able to take a break away and that the sunshine and change of pace were therapeutic. It's lovely to read of your latest adventures and I look forward to learning more about your latest creative project. Take care. Jayxxx
Posted by: J. Crafter | September 11, 2024 at 02:16 PM
Great new blanket Lucy! It has a vintage feel to it. Love it. I hope you're feeling better. I love the photos of your local area. The countryside is a great healer. That and cosy fires and kitties :) Take care.
Posted by: Crafty Cath | September 10, 2024 at 11:05 PM
So glad you are back. I knew you would see your way through. Thank you for being so vulnerable and generous with us. 🩷
Posted by: Cathy Wilkerson | September 10, 2024 at 10:40 PM
Hi Lucy, so good to see you here again. I am happy to read you had a good summer. Take care xxx
Posted by: Femke | September 10, 2024 at 10:52 AM
You have been missed...but good on you for giving yourself the grace to take the time for you!
Posted by: Lisa Minton | September 10, 2024 at 05:49 AM
Welcome back! I've missed your posts? What yarn did you use for the Flowerpress flowers? The yarns has flecks in it.
Posted by: Linda | September 09, 2024 at 11:27 PM
Hi Lucy, In your absence you were in my thoughts more often than if you were blogging...and in my prayers too.
I'm not sure if it called to you - but when I saw the sunset photo from up the hill I just knew that your next blanket should be called SUNSET SMILES and there's our palette right there in the picture. Of course, you don't have to let me be bossy - you can do what you like, but I did love the idea!
All the best as you continue to navigate difficulty. And thank you for your sensitive sharing, your vulnerability, your honesty and the hope that little things can make a big difference.
Posted by: Rachael Ayres | September 09, 2024 at 10:43 PM
So very glad to visit with you again Lucy. We've all missed you. And most importantly we all understand how life's worries weigh us down. Whatever the concern is it somehow takes over. But then somehow we come back to ourselves. So looking forward to the new blanket and lovely pictures.
Take care of you and yours.
Cindy from Buffalo New York
Posted by: Cindy | September 09, 2024 at 10:32 PM
It’s so nice to see you back❤️
Posted by: Kris P | September 09, 2024 at 09:58 PM
Lovely to have you back Lucy, and although there is sadness in your blog, I have enjoyed reading it, and your honesty is a credit to you. Good you’ve taken time for yourself. Looking forward to the new blanket.
Posted by: Joy | September 09, 2024 at 09:17 PM
Lucy, so lovely to see your photos again. I am sorry to read about your tough times, and hope that you can continue to find pockets of peace and happiness. Looking forward to seeing more of the new blanket, it looks so beautiful. Take care, Judith xx
Posted by: Judith | September 09, 2024 at 08:42 PM
So thankful for your rekindled health & creativity! Your blog is a treat for the eyes & soul…. Thank you 💕
Posted by: Wendy M. | September 09, 2024 at 07:55 PM
So lovely to have you back, Lucy. Life is a mess sometimes, but it sorts out at some point. Just remember that in the rhythm of the stitches, there is music for the soul. As our parents age things get a lot harder, as I know from experience, but the feel of yarn running through my fingers and seeing something growing from the end of a hook or from between the needles is a huge comfort, I find. Sometimes, the only thing you have control over is your next stitch - and I am always grateful for that teeny bit of autonomy.
Sending you love and hugs, you lovely soul xx
Posted by: Jools | September 09, 2024 at 07:15 PM