Dorset :: September 2023

I was down in Dorset for a few days just over a week ago and despite the reason for me being there (which was important, but rather on the difficult side), I did enjoy my short stay. I had a fairly early appointment on the Thursday morning in Dorchester which is the county town, so I opted to actually stay in Dorchester the night before. It was a new experience for me for sure, I don't think in all my years I've ever stayed in a hotel when I've visited Dorset. I guess it's something I'll be getting used to in the future as  everything begins to shift and change in the months to come. And actually the convenience of being based a stones throw from the train station (instead of fifteen miles away) made things a whole lot easier in many ways. 

After the meetings were done, my brother and I drove along the coast to the place where we both grew up, and honestly, it felt like medicine for the soul. I took a little time to myself to walk around the harbour and onto the shingle beach, seeking the reassuring familiarity which always makes me feel grounded and at ease. We were experiencing the tail end of storm Agnes at the time, and it was very windy with rough seas and loud crashing waves.....oooo, I absolutely love it when it's wild at the coast! I thought I'd share a spontaneous stormy selfie with you, I think I wear the windswept look rather well ;). Glamorous, I am not.

Spending time with my younger brother who'd travelled from his home in Kent is quite rare. Before this year and the decline in my Dad's health we haven't spent a lot of time together as adults really, although we were close when we were younger. Living two hundred and seventy miles apart has made logistics difficult over the years, but we've both said just recently that making time for family is so important, and worth some solid planning to try and make it happen more frequently.

We hung out in one of our favourite pubs by the beach which hasn't changed much over the decades. Old stone floors and low beamed ceilings, it's a very cosy spot to while away some hours while having a long overdue catchup. I took the opportunity to sneak in some V's while we were chatting - I mean, my brother had some work business to see to on his phone so I didn't feel too bad about seeing to my own  hooky "business" at the same time. I truly love how sociable and portable crochet is, even when it's blanket shaped.

The following morning, I woke up at Lady B's place, a little disorientated, a little hungover and a little down in my soul. Things in Dorset are so hard at the moment, such a constant source of worry and a pull on the heartstrings which isn't at all comfortable. I decided to default to the thing that I know always helps me feel good about the day - an early morning walk. 

7am and I was out the door, striding along very familiar footpaths across fields that I know like the back of my hand.

It was such a beautiful morning, bright and clear but with an unmistakable autumnal feel in the air. There was still a low mist creeping over the meadows which made the views very atmospheric, it really was the most peaceful and restorative way to start the day.

On my way back I stopped off at my favourite café in town which opens it's doors early, and enjoyed my first coffee of the day, goodness me, it was bloomin' good. It was warm enough for the café to open up its big bi-fold windows so I was able to sit inside but feel the early morning breeze and drink in that glorious September sunlight while the town slowly woke up.

It's the middle of the day now, and I've said goodbye to my brother knowing that we'll both be pulled back to Dorset again very soon as decisions gets made and big changes come rolling in.

We went out for lunch, Lady B, myself and my Dad, and afterwards when I only had a few hours left before I had to catch my train, I asked if maybe we could go back to the beach for just a little while. 

Being by the sea calms my soul in a way that nothing else can, and I am drawn to the waves by a very powerful longing. I never feel like I quite have enough time by the sea, and yet even the briefest moments spent along the shoreline seem to do me the world of good.

It was lovely to be on this little pebbly beach, absolutely lovely. Of course I didn't want to leave, but at the same time I suddenly felt desperate to be back with J and the Little Peeps, back to my easy, familiar home life where all is well and no big changes loom.

My journey home from Dorset is roughly seven hours by train - I really don't mind it actually and enjoy the gentle pace of train travel very much. The above photo is me sitting in the afternoon sunshine passing a little bit of time before my train was due to leave. Thank heavens for those gorgeous Starbright stripes, they are saving my bloomin' sanity at the moment I can tell you.

I don't know what more to say about the situation in Dorset, I'm trying my best not to let it floor me. I don't wish to talk details, I know so many of you have walked this path caring for ailing relatives and will know the heartache of it.

Anyhow. I refuse to be down about it, life is for living and smiling and finding the joy in the everyday, even in times of challenge. Onwards and upwards!

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Comments

[CJ]

So sorry things are so hard for you at the moment, I am sending all my love and best wishes. I quite like a long train journey as well. Keep on walking and crocheting, I know they are things that are good for the soul. Sending all the hugs, CJ xxxxx

[Teresa]

Your strength and optimism give me courage. Thank you for sharing this.

[Louise]

As someone mentioned above, I'm not surprised you have been unwell recently with everything on your plate. Finalising your gorgeous blanket, travelling often to Dorset to see your dad and having those sad, important discussions and decisions with your brother and Lady B. Occasionally our bodies just say 'STOP!' and plop us on our butts. I have also been plopped on my butt with a nasty cold over the past week. At the most inconvenient time! By the way my favourite smell is the sea breeze early in the morning. xox

[Carolyn Jackson]

Hello Lucy, I too love your column and love seeing all the photos too. You started my crochet journey and I will always be grateful. We too have been through caring for parents, it is never easy but happens to us all. My lovely Husband and I are in our 80's now and hope we will stay as we are a few more years. We have visited the UK wld love to see Yorkshire so love you photos. We are in NZ, we have lovely walks and craft groups too. Best wishes, Caro take care.

[Jill in Oz]

Love!!!!!

[DeLynn]

You are right, Lucy, I bet many of your readers can identify so well with what you are experiencing with your dad. It is so hard and sad. Dementia thrown in makes it more so. Sending a prayer up for you. I love the sweet blessing of re-connecting with your brother in the midst of this challenging time of your lives.

[Sandra]

I'm near Dorchester with friends this week and will be thinking of you. Its all so hard but so good you have Lady B and your brother around you. It's easy to say, but do take good care of yourself too! xx

[Ruthie]

Feeling for you Lucy. But I love the way you take joy when you can.

[Donna S]

Such thoughtful, kind and gentle responses. I love reading your posts and all the replies too. We all have our challenges, the common thread is to accept gracefully and look for the sparkle in every day, even though the light dims sometimes, it never goes out. Finding gratitude in nature is very restorative. Take care everyone and save a little kindness for yourself x

[Jacqui]

Seending you a big squishy hug x
I love love love v stitch and all those beautiful colours yes my favourite craft is crochet because of the portability and the restful qualities of doing row after row.

[Elizabeth]

You've got a great big heap of stressful stuff on your plate. No wonder you came down ill. It will pass -- that's what I always tell myself, that it will pass. It seems to help. I sense some closure ahead for you, and perhaps a little less worry too. That would be welcome. How nice to spend time with your little brother, despite the circumstances. And how wonderful to spend time at the beach. Those blustery days are my favorites too. You take sensational pictures! Truly. It's a keeper. You look so happy and so at peace, despite everything. And I never noticed before that you have dimples. Just adorable. I like traveling by train too. I find it relaxing. Usually the scenery is pretty and there is not much more to do than enjoy it. Hope things are working out well. Take care of yourself.

[Corinne]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It's hard having to deal with such things. I know from experience how you just keep going until you can't. No wonder you're feeling low. Look after yourself. xx

[Winwick Mum]

I think that at these times in our lives, we just have to take each day as it comes and try to look after ourselves as best we can so that we've got enough reserves to help look after others. Sending you a big hug xx

[Charlotte]

Yes, we know the heartache, and ours go out to you. Appropriate stormy weather for the momentous decisions and upheavals...but there will be a calm after the storm. Hang on in there, Lucy, and keep hooking. Cx

[Fiona T]

I live with my ailing parents (and wonderful hubby) and it can be so stressful watching them become more infirm and incapable.
Today hubby and I took a time out and visited a garden which was still teeming with Bees and flowers. Just sitting in the Autumnal sun listening to the bird song was such a tonic. As we age-so do they and thus the wheel turns xxxxx