Last month, on the second Friday in April, I took myself off on the train to travel down to Dorset. It's a pretty easy journey really, but it's a long one. The first three hours take me south to London, then there's a trek across the city via the underground, followed by another three hours or so out west to Dorset. Three over ground trains, two underground trains and a car journey, we're talking eight hours from door to door.
I really enjoy solo train travel though, I love the steady rhythm of being on the tracks, the endless views of the landscape through the window, and the time to sit and think about things. Sometimes I crochet or listen to music, but most often I prefer to just sit quietly and listen to the dialogue running inside my head. It can be very insightful to see where your mind wanders when you're sitting still and tuning in.
Six o'clock in the evening and I've arrived at Lady B's, a bit travel weary but in good spirits. The sun is shining, the bluebells are blooming in her walled garden.....
....and a chilled glass of vino arrives in front of me. Cheers!
The last few trips I've made to Dorset by myself, I've chosen to stay at my Dad's house which is where I lived aged 10-18 as well as being there during the holidays of my four student years. It's a peaceful house situated at the top of a hill with long distance views out across the countryside, and staying there by myself is nothing short of blissful. The solitude and quiet stillness feels like a huge luxury, and I especially enjoy the early mornings when I can sit in my old bedroom with a steaming hot mug of tea and the above familiar view from my childhood.
My first morning in Dorset was warm and sunny, and being a Saturday I was looking forward to having a potter around the market and shops. My Dad's house is a mile out of the town which means an enjoyable twenty minute walk - these are familiar streets which I must have walked hundreds of times over the years.
Bridport street market is always very busy and well attended on a Saturday and it has a different feel to the market here in Skipton. Many of the stalls are an eclectic mix of vintage furniture, collectibles and crafts so there is always an interesting selection of objects to browse.
I loved seeing this French stall selling colourful "Savon de Marseille" soaps and the most beautiful straw baskets, it reminded me of my trip to Provence all those years ago. It probably won't surprise you to hear that I reeeeeeally wanted to buy myself one of the baskets to bring home, but at the time I couldn't justify the spend, or think of an easy way to carry it home on five trains. Next time I'm there (in July hopefully), I may not be able to resist.
All that browsing and pottering got me thirsty so Lady B and I settled ourselves into a cosy window seat in her favourite local café and ordered up some much needed refreshment. I had a cappuccino (made with very good Italian coffee) and a slice of the most delicious orange and almond cake. Probably a gazillion calories right there on that plate (and subsequently partying inside my tummy) but ooooh, it was so, so good. Excellent cake should always be eaten on holiday in my humble opinion.
I spotted these incredible flowers sitting in a bucket outside the wholefood shop and they literally stopped me in my tracks. Home grown flowers tied with string are impossibly lovely, and at £2 a bunch I scooped them right up and bought them for Lady B.
The rest of the day was spent relaxing in the garden and spending some time with my Dad, which included an afternoon jaunt to the local pub to enjoy a drink sitting in the sunny beer garden. It's not easy to be with my Dad at the moment, and I had to dig deep to find all my patience and stay calm. I love him dearly, but my goodness he is a very difficult human being!
I took the above photo as I was walking home for the night at around 9pm. Gosh the sky was incredibly beautiful with so many stars, I just stood still for a while with my head thrown back getting lost in the endlessness of it all.
Sunday morning and I was awake early enough to see the sun rise over the horizon at around 6:30am. As you can probably tell it was a very chilly start with a hard ground frost, but the clear sky promised a bright sunny day ahead.
I decided on the spur of the moment to claim the morning for myself, and with that came a huge rush of excited energy. Time alone to walk, think and just relax with my own company suddenly seemed like absolute perfection and I couldn't wait to get out and enjoy it. The above photo was taken at 8:10 am and I'm setting out to walk the three miles down to the sea.
Remember that poem I mentioned a while back, just before I set off for Dorset?
"I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied"
I can't tell you how deeply I feel the pull to be beside the shoreline, and just like in the poem I'm simply not able to resist the clear call. Lets go, it may not be denied!
The walk to the sea is a route that I know extremely well, having walked it so many times since being a child.
It was a sunny Sunday morning and everywhere was still sleepy and quiet as I strolled down familiar roads and pathways...
...stopping to appreciate the flowers...
...and following the river as it meandered through fields.
It struck me that Spring was in full swing in Dorset, a good few weeks ahead of us here in chilly North Yorkshire.
It took me just under an hour to get to the coast and the first glimpse of the harbour made my heart soar.
I love this little place so, so much!
As always, I took my self right around the harbour and straight down to sit on west beach, to have the pebbles beneath me and feel my soul breathe out. I don't know why, but it always feels important for me to do this, like a small personal ritual of mine.
Sitting on these pebbles somehow makes me feel at peace, like I've come home again. I sat here for quite a while listening to the rush of the waves breaking onto the shore which is one of my all time favourite things to do. On this early Sunday morning I had the whole beach to myself which felt like quite a treat.
Eventually my tummy began to rumble and I remembered that I hadn't yet had breakfast. Time to get up and go in search of good coffee and a bite to eat.
Back around the harbour I went, all the way round to the beach on the other side....
....where one of my favourite cafés was just getting ready to open.
Ahhhhh, just what I needed! It felt a bit strange to be there on my own at first as I'm usually at this café with J and the Little People, but I soon settled into my own company and didn't feel in the least bit bothered by dining solo. My breakfast was very good, the coffee even more so.
It's often the case that you don't realise quite how much you need solo time until you are actually right in the unexpected middle of it. This was one of those such times, and I felt very grateful for it I can tell you.
Come on, I feel the need for one more walk along the shoreline.....
....and as the café is literally right on the shingle it's an easy skip and a jump onto the beach. The cliffs were looking as magnificent as ever, but scary too. There have been a number of large rock falls recently (just look at this one from November last year, ohmygosh, it's terrifying really) and so I never, ever walk near the base any more, cos it's just not safe. Nope, no, no....
....I stay as close to the water's edge as I can possibly be, trying not to actually get my feet wet in the process.
It was ever so lovely to be there, quiet with my own thoughts, strolling on the damp sand with the gulls crying and the waves crashing. I was kind of blissed out to be honest.
I sat down for a little rest and remembered I had packed snacks, oh, happy days! I am the Queen of Snacks it has to be said, and it doesn't come much better than a small clutch of mini eggs.
Suddenly it seemed like the right time to wander on back as it takes an hour to cross the fields and follow paths back into the town. Such a fine morning spent coastal pottering, it's one of the things I dream about when I'm living my land-locked Attic life up here in the North.
I thought you might like to see those flowers again, the ones I plucked out of the pavement buckets the day before. In the warmth of the house the tulips began to slowly unfurl and it was such a delight to watch it happen. Aren't they glorious?
Later that evening I took my Dad and Lady B out to dinner at a lovely local restaurant, a treat from me to them, but also a treat from me to me, haha. It was very delicious and I even had a pudding which was very indulgent of me but I was in that kind of a mood at the time. I wanted allllllll the sticky sweet things that aren't remotely healthy, I'm sure you know what I mean. So, so good.
Monday morning and another early wake up for me, but with absolutely zero complaints. Six in the morning is such a beautiful time to be awake in the early Spring, with dramatic skies and the promise of the sun still to come.
What pure joy it is to see the sun rise.
Lady B had asked if I wouldn't mind going back to West Bay for breakfast on the Monday morning, and I was only too happy to oblige. West Bay is definitely not short of places to enjoy a very fine breakfast or brunch experience, and this time we settled on Rise. We've been here quite a few times before when on holiday (it's one of Little Lady's favourite places to go) and I really, really like the laid back atmosphere here.
It's in such a great location, set on a small island at the wide mouth of the river where it begins to flow out into the harbour. Crossing over the wooden bridge makes it feel like an adventure....
....and once inside you feel relaxed and ready for some good coffee and delicious food.
Oh yeah....a great way to start the day without a doubt. It was too chilly to sit outside but I did enjoy the views out across the water very much.
We managed to persuade my Dad to walk out along the pier after our breakfast, even though he wasn't all that keen. It was pretty windy and the sea was quite wild so I'm glad he managed it because I'm sure that breathing fresh sea air into your lungs is good for you.
It was lovely to be in Dorset for a short while but it wasn't without stress. That's my Dad there in the above photo, we were taking a slow "constitutional" walk that he does with Lady B most afternoons. It's a short circular route through ancient woodland close to where Lady B lives, and I'm happy to know that he gets out and about each day because his life is mostly extremely sedentary. It's his birthday this week and he'll be 76, and well, things are tricky right now. During the past year we've noticed a steady decline in his memory and some cognitive impairment too, and I'm pretty sure that some form of dementia is taking hold. The difficulty is that he point blank refuses to discuss it and definitely won't agree to see anyone about it, and most of the time he won't even admit that he is struggling. He just tells us to leave him alone and stop interfering, and that he's happy so that's all that matters. It's so hard to know what to do for the best, and it breaks my heart to know that this is only going to get worse as time passes. Ah well, I do try not to dwell on it too much because there isn't very much to be done right now. I shall just keep making the journey to Dorset as often as I'm able so that I can spend as much time with him as possible. Time spent with parents is precious, isn't it, because those memories are all that we'll have one day.
Anyhow, I really didn't want to end on a gloomy note, but I did want to write about what's been happening during the past year as it has been affecting me quite a bit. I'm not a worrier by nature, I'm very much a take-it-as-it-comes type of person, so I think the best thing I can do is just keep being my usual cheery self and hope that whatever needs to happen will come about at the right time. And well, if the situation pulls me down to Dorset more frequently then I'm absolutely going to embrace it.
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Dear Lucy, I must say it was such a lovely post. I agree with you about some rituals we still do throug the years, and mine is to watch waves at the beach in the place I used to live.
In the other hand I do understand your worries about your dad. No one of us is prepared to see them decline and become like little kids. It is like the fahter-doughter role is flipped and now we are the parents and they are the kids. It's hard. But it'is life. I'll send you a big hug from Chile
Posted by: silvana martis | June 12, 2022 at 08:48 PM
West Bay was the first port of call when my parents use to go to Cornwall for holidays each year as a child. I have very fond memories of this area. Thank you for sharing it brought it all back to me...though, long ago.
I understand where your Dad is coming from, he's a proud man and trying to understand it all is hard. I'm glad you visit and share these times with Lady B and your Dad...and what a setting....those woodland walks....what can I say! Having lived in Australia for so long, with a few trips "home" over these years....your pictures wherever you are bring alot of pleasure to me. Thanks!
Posted by: Carole | May 13, 2022 at 02:00 AM
Oh Lucy, my heart goes out to you. I lost both my parents at a young age but I’m seeing a lot of friends going through this with their parents. As a nurse of many years I’ve looked after people suffering from this cruel disease. I’ve seen how heartbreaking it is for their loved ones. Your father is certainly blessed to have you and Lady B in his life. You might not get to see him as much as you’d like but it’s such a treck for you to get there that rest assured you’re doing your best. I think, as has already been suggested in these comments, it’s a great idea to record your father talking about his memories. That of course depends on whether he’s willing and able to chat about such things.
Sending you hugs and strength xx
Posted by: Lauren O | May 11, 2022 at 01:17 AM
Thank you for sharing your trip to Dorset, so many lovely photos. Sounds like a wonderful weekend. Sorry to hear about your father. As you write, time spent with parents is very precious. Hope you get to make many more precious memories.
Posted by: Femke | May 10, 2022 at 02:11 PM
Hi Lucy
We have a lot in common, but I was brought up in Yorkshire and now live in Dorset!I find it fascinating to hear of your trips down to Dorset( to places that I regularly visit- Bridport and West Bay, it’s also lovely to hear about my home county of Yorkshire..
I occasionally return to Yorkshire but I only have a brother living there now.
Make the most of seeing your father, I really miss going to see my Mum and I fully understand what it is like to see someone you love being overtaken by dementia. Try to see him as much as you can, although it is difficult when you live so far away.
Thank youfor your blog and the crochet, I have made several blankets etc thanks to you!
Sue
Posted by: Sue | May 10, 2022 at 08:05 AM
Ahh the call of the sea. I feel it too and indulged in April as well (I cheekily added the link with my name below!) My dad is in his early 70s and whilst his cognitive abilities are still good, he is losing his hearing and having dizzy spells. He says he knows what it is and therefore he doesn't need to bother a doctor with it! Ugh. I decided on the latest visit to stage an 'intervention' where I basically 'logicked' him into finally agreeing to go sort things (much to my mums extreme relief). Dad prides himself on his logic, so if you can out-logic him (is that a word?), he will go "Ok, I see what you're doing and Ok." I love your Dorset posts. It looks like the sweetest place. xox
Posted by: Louise | May 10, 2022 at 04:09 AM
Your kindness and your empathy, despite your father's obstinance, are truly inspirational. I wish you strength for the journey ahead. You're doing the right thing -- though it isn't easy, it has its own reward of sorts. Peace be with you, Lucy. You are a good daughter, a good mother, and a good woman.
Posted by: Elizabeth | May 10, 2022 at 04:07 AM
Sending love to a special lady who gives so much to all of us. It is a tough time for you with all the concerns about your dad and yet you still manage to brighten our day with your blog.
Hugs x
Posted by: Beverley | May 09, 2022 at 08:55 PM
I'm sorry Lucy, sending love. I'm glad you enjoyed your time in Dorset with family x
Posted by: My creative life | May 09, 2022 at 08:29 PM
Oh Lucy. What you wrote totally resonated with me and I can totally understand. In my own situation we are further down the line-all you can do in just be there and gather strength from the loved ones around you.
I am lucky to live by the coast and believe in the healing qualities of the shore. My father in law came down recently to stay with us from up north-he said that after a week he feels more 69 than 89 and feels invigorated after his daily beach walks with us.
Take care x
Posted by: Clare | May 09, 2022 at 08:24 PM
Dementia is such a cruel thing, but it's good that your dad has LadyB to support him every day, and having you visit when you can will be a huge boost to them. A few days before my Mam died, we sat and talked about her childhood, while recording on my phone, and after she died, I did the same with my Dad. I found out things I would never have known otherwise.
On a more serious note, do you have Lasting Power of Attorneys set up for your dad while he still can? It makes life a lot easier when he can't make decisions for himself, either financial or healthcare.
Your photos are, as always ,beautiful. Thank you for letting us share your trip.
Posted by: Corinne | May 09, 2022 at 07:08 PM
always love your visits to the sea. reminds me of doc martin!
i love your boots. what brand are they? they look so comfortable!
i live in the states close to the ocean, but i love all your walks thru the countryside. we really don't have anything close by like that and i wish we did.
have a great day!
Posted by: mary mathews | May 09, 2022 at 03:52 PM
Another lovely blog Lucy.. You always take us on lovely journeys with you..I also love train journeys.. Having recently travelled the Belfast to Derry line.. One of the most beautiful according to Michael Palin. And I fully agree.. Never tire of it.
Sorry about your situation with your Dad.. I had a tough time several years ago.. But you are a very strong woman and you will cope.
Sending hugs your way.
Nora 🌹🌹🌹
Posted by: Nora McGrann | May 09, 2022 at 01:49 PM
Lucy ,you absolutely earned that delicious cake with all that walking you did .
What a lovely post and wonderful pictures ,as ever ,to do justice to this beautiful place - I literally pinch myself every day and will always be so grateful that we made the move here almost two years ago and get to wake up to
the stunning river and water meadow views outside our windows ,feeling so thankful for it .
The white cottage with the blue door and fantastic array of tulips belongs to neighbours of mine ,ours is just a few more doors down heading south ….how I wish you had knocked at my door - though I suppose it would have been a tad early ,but I wouldn’t have minded ☺️
On a more serious note ,I am so sorry about the situation with your Dad …it’s a hard one to bear for everyone close to him and the source of much stress obviously.
You are doing your very best and your visits I’m sure are a source of great pleasure to your Dad and Lady B . Hugs to you all,
Carole xxxx
Posted by: Carole C | May 09, 2022 at 01:17 PM
Oh Lucy, I'm sorry about your dad. I'm envious of the trip to Dorset though. It looks absolutely lovely.
Posted by: Deb | May 09, 2022 at 12:18 PM
You're so fortunate to have one of your parents still alive, I was 16 when my dad died and 20 when mom died. As we all know life is precious.
Posted by: Miss Daisy | May 09, 2022 at 12:10 PM
Loved reading your blog and especially seeing the photos of the area once again. My grandfather was born in Bridport, his father was a manager at North Mills many moons ago. I don't know why my grandfather came to Australia and left all his family behind. I have been lucky enough to have two visits to Bridport and walking past the house where he lived and also visited the cemetery where my great grandparents are buried. Unfortunately it is such a long journey from Melbourne to England and I'm not sure I will be able to make it again. It makes your posts even more special for me.
Thank you so much.
Posted by: Marg Freeman | May 09, 2022 at 11:11 AM
That was a lovely blog! I appreciate the problems with your father. My husband and I have recently moved up to Edinburgh from North Yorkshire to be close to our daughters and grandchildren. Quite a change but so worth it to be closer to the ones you love. I hope your dad doesn't make it too difficult for his family. It can be a heart wrenching experience.
Posted by: Chris Swales | May 09, 2022 at 10:04 AM
Sorry that things are difficult with your dad. It must be hard for Lady B as well I imagine. I'm glad you had some time to wander around in Dorset a bit though, it's such a lovely place. I love to see a homegrown bunch of flowers too, such a treat. And always wonderful to see the sea. Sending hugs. CJ xx
Posted by: CJ | May 09, 2022 at 09:55 AM
My husband and I decided a long time ago to be happy, so much better than worrying about health problems.
I have spent many hours sat on the top of those cliffs and also in the quiet little coves at the base. We never heard of them falling down, and I find it frightening to think about that happening. Life was simple back in the sixties.
Thank you for sharing, it warms my heart.
Posted by: Christine | May 09, 2022 at 08:24 AM
Aww Lucy what a lovely blog and I just adore all the lovely photos.
My heart goes out to you dementia has many forms both my parents had it.
Now my mother in law has it, she is now in a home and we visit although this was a hard decision, she is so happy there. She is cared for well and always says how much she likes it there. (Even though she said she wanted to stay at home)
Thankyou for sharing with us.
Posted by: Jacqui | May 09, 2022 at 08:10 AM
Thank you for posting this and reminding me about happy years living in Weymouth and visiting Bridport. Like you I enjoy time on my own, travelling or walking, no music, Radio 4 or podcasts, just letting my mind run free and sometimes praying. My mother had vascular dementia after a stroke and made life very difficult, worse when she had a chest or urinary infection for which she had to go into hospital. Mum and Dad refused all other assistance or treatment and it was hard to see them struggling but refusing assistance. Dad was fully competent so there was nothing the rest of the family could do except loving support and prayer. I feel for you being so far away. We left Dorset to live close to our sons when Mum and Dad had died and were glad of each others' support during Covid.
Posted by: Geeha | May 09, 2022 at 08:03 AM
Thank you for sharing your travels to Dorset and the photos. It takes me down my cherished memory lane when I was a child. My parents,brother and I would spend our summer holidays in the beautiful countryside near Sturminster Newton staying with my grandparents. We would take day trips to visit coastal towns.
Memories dating as far back as the 50s but still so vivid. We lived in North Africa at the time but continued our visits when we returned to the UK until both my grandparents died and their little cottage sold.
Posted by: Carol | May 09, 2022 at 07:37 AM
We got my father referred to the local Memory CLinic who sent a lovely guy round to interview him at home and that led to a diagnosis and to some medication which definitely did help. I was amazed to learn there are about 200 different types of dementia, for some of which there may be helpful treatments and some not. But it is a good point that sometimes an apparent cognitive decline is not caused by "dementia" but by some other medical condition which can be treated. Also if someone has one of the dementia variants for which there is a treatment, further decline can be delayed. Which I think is a good argument for an individual to see their Gp and start exploring what may be causing their forgetfulness. My parents certainy saw the force of that.
JennyS
Posted by: JennyS | May 09, 2022 at 05:58 AM
It’s so lovely to be following your life’s journey, the ups and downs of real life always make fascinating reading. It can so often put our own lives into perspective! Dorset was a place we as a family visited often with our young children and 2 big dogs! We have since moved to NZ, so following your blog’s is a real memory jogger. Love love attic 24!!! Xxx
Posted by: Debbie Abbott | May 09, 2022 at 03:44 AM