With Love from Me

Hello my friends, thank you so much for popping by to visit, and I'm sorry that my window has been closed for such a long time through these intense summer weeks. I just want to reassure you I am alright, I haven't been ill or fallen off the face of the Earth, but I have been struggling with my general health and wellbeing which has seen me hit a very low point in recent months.

Despite me writing about my life and sharing it with you over the past 13 years, I do feel a bit shaky talking about such personal health matters here in my public space. It's not an easy thing to do, and I've been feeling very vulnerable in general I guess, especially as my emotions are extremely erratic right now. Hence the silence here for the past month and a half while I tried to gather myself together enough to be able to articulate my thoughts for you.

So to put it bluntly, all this angst is down to my crazy menopausal  hormones which continue to lead me on a difficult journey through my early fifties. The downward slope has been depressingly horrid to be honest. But it's not all doom and gloom. After much internal debate, research and advice from my doctor I've decided to take the leap with HRT and hope that I can haul myself out of the grey depression that has plagued me this year. I am keeping everything crossed that there will be light at the end of the tunnel for me in the near future, crikey, I really need that light to shine again. 

Last week I uploaded a whole load of photos to catch you up with my summer time, so I'm going to try really hard to find the words to share with you very soon. You are never far from my thoughts I promise you, I think about my blog every day, many, many times a day and tell myself that it's OK to just come back when I feel able. I appreciate your understanding more than I can put into words, and I'm sending you all lots and lots of love. 

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Comments

[gail.]

Never feel anxiety about being honest and upfront Lucy. It may just be what one of your friends who visit this place need to read. To know another understands these highs and lows can be a real comfort..

[Jan Quigley]

It does get better. I’m 61 & still having the occasional hot flush but that’s all. I did low dose HRT patches for 18 months from age 54. They were wonderful, but on Dr’s advice stopped then. It was enough to get my mind in tune with what was happening.
Focus on what brings you pleasure, enjoy your lovely family & beautiful surroundings, & of course revel in your craft. Sit quietly & daydream when you need to, rest when you feel the urge, the world will survive.
I do wish this was a common topic of conversation so we would all know what to expect, but even in this day & age it’s not.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. xxx 🤗

[Corinne]

Look after yourself Lucy. We'll all still be here when you feel ready to pop back again. Hope the HRT helps. I didn't need to use it but found black cohosh and soya milk helped me, but menopause is just awful while you're in it.
On tough days you could try the other HRT.... Horticultural Retail Therapy! Go and buy some plants for the garden!!! Nature heals.😊

[PamH]

Good to hear from you Lucy but so sorry you are having a rough time. It's been some years since I went through the menopause and like you I was not keen on the idea of HRT initially. After talking things through with my GP I decided to go on it, and it was the best decision I ever made it! I felt so much better, and hope you get good results too. I can only liken it to feeling like a big black heavy cloud had been lifted from my head, I could think clearly again and got my optimism back for life. I look forward to seeing your photos as and when you are ready but please don't rush if you are not up to it X

[Tracey]

Sending love.Inonly realised recently that the anxiety I felt was related to the menopause , but you do come out the other side x

[Tracy Wheeler]

Sorry to hear you have been struggling Lucy. Love your updates but totally understand you not wanting to go in depth about personal things. I'm on the verge of talking with my doc about HRT. I've just turned 50 and definitely going through perimenopause. The Davina documentary struck a few chords for me as for alot of women I think. Look forward to hearing how you get on with it (only if you're willing to share). Take care and hope you feel more yourself soon.

[Gillian Edwards]

Sending lots of love and hugs. Xxx

[Marylin Ollivier]

Hey Lucy Girl! Not to worry...we are always here when you want to chat. I did well physically with HRT, and somewhat ok when it came to the emotional part. The up and down emotional crazies are a bit unsettling to say the least. Buy I self help with doing my arts and crafts. Crocheting bears at the moment and they are cheerful little creatures...I hug each one when they are done. LOL We are having record breaking heat waves here on Vancouver Island, Canada and I do not do well in the heat. Don't like to wish the summer away, but I will be so grateful when Sept comes. Looking forward to seeing how your Cmas blanket is coming along. Take care, m'dear. Hugs, MO

[Barb]

I went through similar. It is Hell, but you will see the light again one day. Better living through chemistry ❤. Take the meds and we'll be here when you come back. I'm crocheting my Meadow blanket, 2 rows every day and loving it!!😊

[Jo]

Lovely to hear from you. Take care of you. Lots of Love xx

[Dawn]

Love and hugs Lucy xx

[Ang]

So sorry you are suffering, I too have had quite a time of it, the worst symptom for me is the vaginal atrophy, I'd never heard of it till I went to the docs after I could no longer stand the discomfort. I've been up and down this week I'm on low dose internal hrt but might need to try something else. X

[Yvonne]

You colourful lady with the best summer red tonails this side of Yorkshire... get splashing on your best coco channel and smile 😃😊🙂 we ladies really did get the short end of lifes stick didn't we? Just think of it this way... it's just merely mother nature getting you ready for your next transformation. You've been in a chrysalis stage and soon with treatment, you will immerge a pretty little butterfly ready to take on the next creatively colourful adventure.

Much love and hugs coming at you xxx

[Marta Taylor]

I understand where you are coming from. I went on HRT as, in my early 50s, I did not want to think 'life was over'. They were wonderful and worth the small cancer risk. No point living forever but being miserable. I'm off HRT now (in my late 60s) and still get hot flushes but, whilst annoying, they are a minor nuisance. Go for it and I hope to read that you feel better. Take care and come back bursting with energy and crochet goodies when you can.

[Wendy]

Best thing I ever did for my own sanity, happiness and general well being was going on HRT. I decided the cancer risk was worth living a happy life. Menopause is not for the faint hearted. Take care of yourself.
Much live

[Chris Baehr]

Lucy -

I remember the early days, of what they call "perimenopause" so very well. They happened to coincide with my daughter's adolescence, and the mother/daughter relationship was stressful, to say the least. I felt I never said anything right, and I completely lost confidence in my role as a mother! Fast forward almost 20 years, and I can say that things will get better!! Once the hormones quiet down you will feel like yourself again. HRT for a short time is very safe and helpful. I used the "patch" for a while and just gradually snipped more of it off to wean myself gradually. It didn't remove all symptoms, but definitely helped. Take care!
Chris

[KB]

Like Cathy - I’m 52 too, I hear you. Take care

[Lily Veenendaal]

Dear Lucy, so awful to hear what you are going through. The menopause is just horrible. After suffering for a long time, I started anti depressives and hurray, within a week I started to feel myself again and best of all, I was able to sleep like I used to!!And now, after 5 years of anti depressives (without any side effects) I am slowly starting to get of these medicines. But they worked wonders and I am so glad they helped me get through an awful time. I wish you the very best of luck!! Love from The Netherlands, Lily

[Sian Roberts]

Lots of hugs the HRT will definitely help. Amongst other things I experienced terrible fatigue. Four months in and that is much improved. Big hugs

[Ronnie]

It absolutely is ok to wait, and come back when you are able. Take your time and take care of yourself. Xx

[Anne]

Keep going, and you will get there. I didn't do HRT, but if that's what gets you through, go for it! For most of our adult lives we understand the ebb and flow of our bodies and minds and then suddenly we are ambushed by all sorts of strange stuff. It does pass though - I tried to think when I last had a hot flush and couldn't remember, (I am 61, but didn't go through the menopause until I was 56) and I do feel sane again now...

[Linda Spooner]

Lucy, I really am sorry for what you are going thru. I had a hysterectomy at 40 and have gone thru this twice. Yes, twice. I am also bi-polar and I understand all too well the depression. It makes me almost to the point of not wanting to move or speak. I don't know about HRT but I did go straight for a head doctor. Now I'm on meds but the depression is hideous. It slips around my meds and still jabs me. Take heart. Yours will end. It's a long trial but remember what does not kill you makes you stronger. That keeps me going. Linda

[Sarah Mills]

I too took the decision to go on hrt just 4 weeks ag and already I am sleeping better as well as feeling a little more like being intimate with my husband 😉 The Davina programme was just the nudge I needed, feel so much better.
It was brave of you to share, and it's only by doing so that we will make others understand what a massive deal it is to go through. I wish you well xxx

[Karen Dodgson]

Bless you Lucy, the menopause is horrible isn’t it. I suffered terrible with anxiety and depression when it hit me in my early 50’s but my doctor refused to prescribe HRT and instead I ended up as a zombie on antidepressants for a year. I never want to experience that again, and it fundamentally changed me from a confident person to a bag of nerves. Fast forward 8 years and I’m finally accepting who I now am, but I do think HRT would have helped so much. I’m really glad you are taking it and hope it works for you. Moving to St Anne’s was my HRT!
Love and hugs to you from the seaside xx

[Penny Prosser]

HRT is wonderful! You will be feeling like a spring lamb in no time. To be honest, I wish that I could still be on it at 68 but hey ho. Good luck Lucy and let us know how it goes.