It's Been A While

Hello my lovelies, it's been a while and I hope you are all keeping yourselves well and that life is good in your patch of the world. I've been through a tricky few months where I have struggled with my days - please just know that I am feeling very much better, and that I'm so thankful that you wait patiently for my Attic window to reopen.

Here's a funny thing - I had an email from my dear blogging friend Teresa a few days ago, concerned that my last post had the comments closed which is something I very rarely do. Honestly I had no idea this had happened, it was a complete accident! And there I was feeling quite disheartened that no-one was commenting on my lovely Meadow blanket border, I thought you were all fed up with my CAL posts and I was all sad about it! Haha, silly, silly me.

I have missed my regular blogging these past few months, the CAL took up all my energy (and really my energies have been very low this winter), but here we are approaching a new season and I'm delighted to be back. It's the Spring Equinox in two days time and I am so so so so so ready for it......bring it to me! I snapped the above photo on Tuesday, an unexpectedly sunny late morning when for the first time it felt like Spring was in the air. It was glorious.

Our daily woodland walks continue, and joy of joys the very first signs of greenery are appearing right now. The trees are still bare of course for another couple months, but on the woodland floor the first bright green wild garlic shoots are pushing through. This morning when we walked there I could smell it for the first time this year, it's just the most delicious fresh scent and it makes me very happy indeed. 

Last week Little B and Little Lady returned to school for the first time this year and my goodness I was sooooooo ready for it. This latest nine week lockdown has felt like the longest slog, even though to be fair the Little People have been incredible and have worked hard each day joining in with online lessons. I have been so thankful for their easy going personalities, and the way they quickly adapted and accepted the situation. So proud of them. I just found the whole time very invasive somehow, like I couldn't settle, couldn't find any natural routine or rhythm to my days. Our house felt too small, no where to retreat to, no way to rest, recharge, find peace. It was a struggle for me, and yet I feel so stupid admitting to it because really on the surface of things, everything was just fine. 

Anyhow - yeah, that's over now, and I am so thankful to be out the other side. I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to be walking along the canal in the dull, cool morning, back to the old familiar school routine. Deep gratitude.

During this latest lockdown we have been doing our bit and staying very very close to home. A walk in the woods every day, same old, same old. On Friday last week we drove out of town for the first time since the New Year to walk - it's only a 2 mile drive to the next village to walk around the reservoir so we were still local but it felt like the biggest excitement.

It was oh-so-muddy and wet, crikey, the mud was of the thick oozy variety that tries to suck your wellies clean off the end of your legs. We also really mis-timed what we thought was a sunny break in the clouds, and half way around the reservoir we got caught in a heavy hail storm. It was deeply unpleasant, the hail was painful! But still, it felt good to be out and about and walking beside water always makes me happy.

As you may well know, this latest lockdown that we are still living through has been pretty restrictive in the UK with mostly everything closed. We have a few local cafes which have stayed open for take outs and for me personally this has really made my days feel just about on the right side of OK. When everything else has felt so out of kilter and when all my usual routines have gone to pot, my daily coffee has kept me grounded. I hope that doesn't sound too ridiculous?! I actually switched over to decaff coffee a month or so ago as my sleep has been so dire, so it's not about the caffeine fix for me any more. There is just something about the comfort of a hot milky drink on a cold winters day which brings me deep happiness. I treat my daily coffee as a luxury, this is something that costs money which I choose to indulge in for a daily dose of pleasure, and I appreciate it every single day.

Often times J and I have combined a coffee with our daily woodland walk - having the two things together is pretty great I have to say. Having said all this though, I do desperately miss the times when cafes were places you could sit in and chat to friends. I am longing for that to come back again - all being well then we should see that happen sometime in May. I cannot wait.

In the past few months when my sleep has gone haywire and my energies have been low, I've tried hard to look after my physical wellbeing. The temptation to comfort eat has been great (hello hot buttered toast, ooohh, and hellooooooo all things chocolatey), but I have really made an effort to keep myself on track. You might remember my post last year about my 2020 wellness journey? I am still on that journey, still nurturing myself as best as I can and prioritising my health. And honestly? I'm rather proud of myself for sticking with it.

I've had days during the past few months where I have felt very low. As you may know, I struggle in the dark winter months, and adding in some insanely spiky hormones and months of sleep deprivation, well, I had to really take good care of myself. Some days I found myself sneaking back into bed in the afternoons, telling the family I was practicing self care and closing myself off for a few hours. It was needed, and I always felt better afterwards.

I've spent a lot of time just recently caught up inside my own mind, sorting through a heap of deep memories and trying to find my way into the clear. It's been such a strange time.

Anyhow......all I want to say really is that I'm here and I'm doing OK, feeling better this week than I have in months. Brighter spirit, new energies. I'm happy to be back and looking forward to sharing more with you as we edge slowly out of Winter. Thank you so much for being here with me - my blog celebrated 13 years last week, isn't that something?

See you all soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Cindy]

So many people have had the "lockdown depression". Doesn't help that it was in the darkest time of the year. I'm so happy that you're feeling better. Know that you are not alone & that there are thousands of your followers who care so much about you! Welcome back! ❤

[Debbie MacKenzie]

You are an amazing person. I get such pleasure reading about you and your family.
Dark times are difficult and I am so happy you are coming out of it. I had a terrible time going through the big M. There were years I couldn’t do anything. Time passes
and things get better. Living through it is the hard part. Is sounds like you are doing everything right to take care of yourself. ❤️

Debbie, Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

[Claire]

Sending you the biggest of hugs. I wish there was a way to send you the kind of sunshine and joy that your posts and crochet bring to so many people. I was racing through my meadow blanket to get to the border and then decided it was a real waste to rush it so I have slowed down now but I am looking forward to its pointed loveliness.

I hope the spring flowers spring through and change in seasons passes some energy on to you and you start to feel more yourself again as the weather brightens.. winter and February months are always tough. xxxxx

[Crochet from Cotswolds]

You are precious.
Welcome back.
Little things are the most important.
I'm off to get a coffee ......

[Ann]

So nice to hear that you are back and life is returning to our new normal. Here in California we are all still wearing masks and being extra careful especially in grocery stores. Restaurants are mostly operating with take out only or outdoor dining but all is very limited. Many businesses have not survived and will be gone forever. Most students are still attending school via Zoom and most office workers are working from home via their computers. Currently, the vaccines are being distributed and that has brought us hope. We try to stay safe and make each day as normal as possible. Take care and hopefully keep writing your blog!

[vanessa]

Gosh, this could have been me writing about how I have felt over the last few months. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone Lucy. I have felt so stifled these past few months. Like I just couldn't breathe at home. There was nowhere to turn in our tiny house that gave me peace and quiet. Wherever I went, someone followed me to chat. I am a person who needs time on my own with my own thoughts, and to constantly be surrounded with noise and people was almost too much for me. Years ago, the house was fine with two adults and 3 small children. Now it's five adult sized people living under one tiny roof. Generally it's fine, as usually at least one is out somewhere, but all of us cooped up for such a length of time has just been so hard. There is light though now at the end of the tunnel. Glimpses of beautiful spring days truly have lifted me up to such highs. It's glorious! It's all looking better Lucy xxx

[Julia Bannon]

You’re such an inspiration to so many of us, Lucy, all over the world. So glad to hear you’re feeling better, still prioritizing you and your wellness journey. Thank you for sharing so much with all of us!

[Linda from Boston]

I’m so glad to see you’re ok. I too was concerned about the closed comments. I SO wanted to tell you how much I loved the border on the CAL. The last bobble row just makes the blanket!! This pandemic has gotten everything out of sorts but hopefully we’re on the end of it. My husband and I are getting the vaccine on Tuesday. Keeping my fingers crossed it all goes well!! Take care. ❤️

[Kristen]

Lucy, we’ve never met, nor are we ever likely to, but I love following your blog so much....and I couldn’t be happier to see this lovely post. I live a long way from you in the U.S. biut Spring is Springing here as well and it is just what the doctor ordered!! Wishing you every joy today and always, take good care and know you are thought of here in Wisconsin, with the highest regards. K

[Gill Compigne-Leaney]

So glad you are feeling better Lucy. I missed your blog, I only found you a couple of years ago but you do brighten up my days. Keep up the good work on your health and look forward to what Summer can bring.
Love Gill xx

[Beverley]

Welcome back Lucy I have really missed you and your wonderful blog. Sorry that you have found life more difficult lately. Winter seems to have been so long and drawn out with all the restrictions but sunshine and hope are becoming brighter.
Your Meadow blanket is fantastic and I love the colours. Looking forward to seeing what you get up to next. Take care and look after yourself x

[Eva]

I'm happy that you are back! :)
A big hugh from Granada (Spain)

[Gaby Meares]

Thank you for your honesty. I hope you’re seeing the sunshine now. Your posts and wonderful crochet patterns, with all their glorious colours have brought me so much joy. Take care of yourself dear Lucy as you are much loved.

[CJ]

So sorry you've had a few difficult months, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now. I really hope you have some very excellent months to make up for it. I have been struggling with focus and productivity a bit while the children were home. The last week I hit a wall. I think it was the constant distractions, the constant pulling away of my focus. Back to it now though. I know what you mean about the same walks. The dog is wondering why he never gets to go anywhere exciting any more. But hopefully it won't be too much longer. I'm sending a hug and some positive spring energy. CJ xx

[Christine]

So glad your back I thought I was missing something when I hadn't seen your blog for awhile, glad your back look after yourself and keep well.x

[Jenny Brown]

Thank you for your honesty, your words echo my own experience of the children home and the lack of space to settle. Good to hear I wasn't the only one. Jenny from Wigan

[Sarah]

Hi Lucy, sorry to hear life has been such a struggle for you recently. The coming of Spring is such a relief isn't it! I open my roof window to look out first thing every morning and just thank God for the sky, the colours, the leaf buds on the trees, the feeling of hope it all gives! I'm struggling too with crazy hormones and all the draining effects of lockdown. Your Meadow blanket was a delight to work on, and that border is just beautiful! I decided to choose different colours for mine, faffed about for ages then realised that the ones you had chosen looked so much better I just went with them - glad I did! So thanks,take care & God bless x

[Angie]

Thank you for your honesty and you are certainly not alone in this! Your colorful work always brings joy to me.

[Lynn H]

Hello! Lucy your blogs have been so inspirational and I was sorry to hear that you've been low. After a 45 year break you and your beautiful postings inspired me to restart crochet! Having been diagnosed and treated for a rare cancer at the start of lockdown last year I was desperate to occupy my mind. I completed the gorgeous meadow blanket and have made blankets for residents in my Mum's care home and for our 1st brand new grandson born 1 week ago. I am hundreds of miles apart from my family and sometimes you can't see the light for the darkness. The light comes through eventually. Stay strong and keep crocheting🤗

[Ellie]

Thank you for your honest post Lucy. I struggled having the children at home these past few weeks and I couldn't quite find the words to express how I felt, which of course makes it all feel even worse - you have summed it up perfectly! They are back now, and for my most easy going little girl the transition has been a tough one, but we will work through this.

Thank you x

[Chris Swales]

Lovely to have you back! I've suffered from terminal lethargy since the first lockdown and didn't touch a needle of any variety for the better part of a year. The only thing that kept me sane has been a new puppy - now 15 months old. He's a delight and given us so much fun. Just got back to some crocheting - one of your blankets of course! Stay well.x

[Amanda]

Woohoooooooooo & yaaaaaaaaay!! Virtual hugs ((<3)) xxx

[Abby]

Hi Lucy, glad you are feeling better. I know how you feel about being unsettled and not knowing how to relax. Good to see spring is on the way and we can meet up outside soon

[Diane Kelsey]

So glad to hear you are feeling better. I don’t drink coffee, but a friend of mine highly recommends M&S decaf for in the home. X

[shoshana]

so glad you're back, i missed you!!!!