It's Been A While

Hello my lovelies, it's been a while and I hope you are all keeping yourselves well and that life is good in your patch of the world. I've been through a tricky few months where I have struggled with my days - please just know that I am feeling very much better, and that I'm so thankful that you wait patiently for my Attic window to reopen.

Here's a funny thing - I had an email from my dear blogging friend Teresa a few days ago, concerned that my last post had the comments closed which is something I very rarely do. Honestly I had no idea this had happened, it was a complete accident! And there I was feeling quite disheartened that no-one was commenting on my lovely Meadow blanket border, I thought you were all fed up with my CAL posts and I was all sad about it! Haha, silly, silly me.

I have missed my regular blogging these past few months, the CAL took up all my energy (and really my energies have been very low this winter), but here we are approaching a new season and I'm delighted to be back. It's the Spring Equinox in two days time and I am so so so so so ready for it......bring it to me! I snapped the above photo on Tuesday, an unexpectedly sunny late morning when for the first time it felt like Spring was in the air. It was glorious.

Our daily woodland walks continue, and joy of joys the very first signs of greenery are appearing right now. The trees are still bare of course for another couple months, but on the woodland floor the first bright green wild garlic shoots are pushing through. This morning when we walked there I could smell it for the first time this year, it's just the most delicious fresh scent and it makes me very happy indeed. 

Last week Little B and Little Lady returned to school for the first time this year and my goodness I was sooooooo ready for it. This latest nine week lockdown has felt like the longest slog, even though to be fair the Little People have been incredible and have worked hard each day joining in with online lessons. I have been so thankful for their easy going personalities, and the way they quickly adapted and accepted the situation. So proud of them. I just found the whole time very invasive somehow, like I couldn't settle, couldn't find any natural routine or rhythm to my days. Our house felt too small, no where to retreat to, no way to rest, recharge, find peace. It was a struggle for me, and yet I feel so stupid admitting to it because really on the surface of things, everything was just fine. 

Anyhow - yeah, that's over now, and I am so thankful to be out the other side. I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to be walking along the canal in the dull, cool morning, back to the old familiar school routine. Deep gratitude.

During this latest lockdown we have been doing our bit and staying very very close to home. A walk in the woods every day, same old, same old. On Friday last week we drove out of town for the first time since the New Year to walk - it's only a 2 mile drive to the next village to walk around the reservoir so we were still local but it felt like the biggest excitement.

It was oh-so-muddy and wet, crikey, the mud was of the thick oozy variety that tries to suck your wellies clean off the end of your legs. We also really mis-timed what we thought was a sunny break in the clouds, and half way around the reservoir we got caught in a heavy hail storm. It was deeply unpleasant, the hail was painful! But still, it felt good to be out and about and walking beside water always makes me happy.

As you may well know, this latest lockdown that we are still living through has been pretty restrictive in the UK with mostly everything closed. We have a few local cafes which have stayed open for take outs and for me personally this has really made my days feel just about on the right side of OK. When everything else has felt so out of kilter and when all my usual routines have gone to pot, my daily coffee has kept me grounded. I hope that doesn't sound too ridiculous?! I actually switched over to decaff coffee a month or so ago as my sleep has been so dire, so it's not about the caffeine fix for me any more. There is just something about the comfort of a hot milky drink on a cold winters day which brings me deep happiness. I treat my daily coffee as a luxury, this is something that costs money which I choose to indulge in for a daily dose of pleasure, and I appreciate it every single day.

Often times J and I have combined a coffee with our daily woodland walk - having the two things together is pretty great I have to say. Having said all this though, I do desperately miss the times when cafes were places you could sit in and chat to friends. I am longing for that to come back again - all being well then we should see that happen sometime in May. I cannot wait.

In the past few months when my sleep has gone haywire and my energies have been low, I've tried hard to look after my physical wellbeing. The temptation to comfort eat has been great (hello hot buttered toast, ooohh, and hellooooooo all things chocolatey), but I have really made an effort to keep myself on track. You might remember my post last year about my 2020 wellness journey? I am still on that journey, still nurturing myself as best as I can and prioritising my health. And honestly? I'm rather proud of myself for sticking with it.

I've had days during the past few months where I have felt very low. As you may know, I struggle in the dark winter months, and adding in some insanely spiky hormones and months of sleep deprivation, well, I had to really take good care of myself. Some days I found myself sneaking back into bed in the afternoons, telling the family I was practicing self care and closing myself off for a few hours. It was needed, and I always felt better afterwards.

I've spent a lot of time just recently caught up inside my own mind, sorting through a heap of deep memories and trying to find my way into the clear. It's been such a strange time.

Anyhow......all I want to say really is that I'm here and I'm doing OK, feeling better this week than I have in months. Brighter spirit, new energies. I'm happy to be back and looking forward to sharing more with you as we edge slowly out of Winter. Thank you so much for being here with me - my blog celebrated 13 years last week, isn't that something?

See you all soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Colleen L Mason]

I, too, have had a very hard time this winter. I don't think our restrictions here in the U.S. have been nearly as severe as the U.K., although they probably should be. But just the dark and cold, and inability to get out for socialization, made it very tough. Our February got unexpectedly cold and included snow and ice a number of times, not fun at all! I got myself a light therapy lamp, and I do think it helped. We now have been vaccinated, and I am so hoping for a gradual improvement of conditions. So glad you are feeling better.

[Nancy Swank]

It's lovely to hear from you again Lucy, and I'm so happy to hear you are feeling better. I'm glad you prioritized your health and took some time away as needed. It's comforting to hear your honest reflections of both the good and difficult times as many of us experience this, and it's good to know you're not alone. Much love and well wishes! Nancy in Indiana, USA

[Lola-JoJo]

Oh Lucy, how I've missed you. I loved the blanket edging and it finished it off perfectly - thank you so much for sharing. I love the finished blanket and use it almost everyday whilst sitting on the sofa on the evenings. Glad to hear you're feeling brighter now. Big hugs xx

[Alice]

I only recently discovered your blog and it's such a joy and so peaceful to read. I ve been working through the aria blanket and it's been so much fun, I love your colours so much, your very very talented and I cant wait to make more of your beautiful designs!
I'm glad your feeling better and i agree with you about a warm milky drink being a great comfort, for me its a lovely cuppa! Thank you for all you do, your very inspiring :)

[Wendy]

From one fellow "winter-struggler" to another.....
Welcome Back!!!!
I understand how great it feels when the daylight starts lasting longer and you can see, smell, and feel the first signs of Spring.

[Alison]

Good to have you back, Spring is definitely on the way xx

[Andrea]

Hi Lucy
Im so happy your back, this has been a tough time for all of us , i have missed you , i always enjoy your photos ,make me wish i was there , i love the area
i too have been struggling and still am, i have so many projects started , and just dont feel like working on any of them ...
but we all hang in there , there is always light at the end of the tunnel, better days are coming , meanwhile I enjoy the beautiful springtime , my favorite time of the year
love you all God Bless

[Tracy Wheeler]

I know it would be hard work for you but I would love to see a blog post from you every day. I love reading them. I always feel like I'm walking along side you. I totally am with hormones. Thank goodness for crochet! Take care Lucy. ❤

[Kathy Anderson]

Spring is such a truly magical time in the UK, it's a hard enough slog through winter in the best of years, but incredibly difficult in current situation. Add to that the hormones and it's really hard to know how much is one or the other!
You have given so much light and colour to thousands and thousands of people and I know we all love you for your gentle and generous nature. Hope we can support you through the harder days. Wishing you joy in daffodils, green leaves and blue skies, in family outings and, of course daily coffee.
Thank you so much for being you xxx

[Karen Dodgson]

Hi Lucy
I’m so glad to hear from you again, I’ve been worrying about you as I know you always struggle in winter. Please be kind to yourself, we’re all struggling right now and you’re in very good company.
As you know we moved to St Anne’s in October, I have never been more grateful for being here, and I think of you every time we walk along the dunes. Things are slowly waking up here, the ice cream cafe is open and the beach huts are being cleaned and spruced up.. My wish for you is that you can soon get across for a day in the Spring sunshine to revive your soul...with coffee and cake from our lovely pier cafe. Keep on keeping on, there really is light on the horizon xx

[Diane from West Wales]

Welcome back Lucy, good to hear you are feeling more like yourself. Spring will definitely make you feel a whole lot better. This exceptional Winter has been a long haul, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sending love 💗 hugs and flowers 💐

[Corinne]

Pleased to see you back and staying safe! I finished my Meadow Blanket on 8th March and I am so happy with it. I was told by a friend that black cohosh would help with my hot flushes and mood swings. I also started using sugar free soya milk and I am convinced that's how I came through relatively ok. Everyone is different though, so it may not be 'for you'.
Lots of folks have struggled this lockdown with it being through winter, but like you say, the equinox is this weekend and we can look forward to brighter days ahead!

[Marylin Ollivier]

Hi Lucy Glad to see you back. I thot maybe your were just taking a well deserved rest after all the work you put into the Meadow blanket CAL. I finished the blanket and am so pleased with it. So thankful for the hard work and talent you put into your designs. So enjoy your meanderings, photography, and calm writings...it just relaxes me and takes me away to another place...your place. LOL 13 yrs...Congratulations. I've been with you for about 10 of those, and loved every moment of it. Take care and best to you and family. MO

[Sue Floyd]

Yay! You're back! Well, I totally understand how you've been feeling. This was a "humdinger" of a year. Hopefully the worst is behind us. There is no shame in taking a nap. It's so healthy. It's self card at its core. Love your blog as so many do. Yours is one of the first I followed, way back when. Be good to yourself & your family. Take care.
Sue

[Mary W]

Glad you are back and feeling better. Since this dark feeling seems to come each winter - I really wish you understood how Vitamin D plays a part. Research should reveal that one indication of a lowered Vit D is exactly what you describe. DO NOT blame yourself! Just get a blood test at the worst time of it and see if it reveals the lower level and you will be able to find relief and energy and feel like yourself even during the coldest and most dreary of days!

[Laura]

I’m feeling a bit of tights envy from that pic 😂

[Kara]

Hi Lucy- There is a rhythm to your words that is just so pleasant and relaxing. Whether you’re writing about a CAL or notes about your day — canal walks, milky coffees, pretty flowers— it’s always so feel-good even when you aren’t quite there yourself. So thank you for bringing joy to my life. 💕

[Arlene Bomback]

You are loved ~ Arlene

[vicki Brunberg]

So soothing to read your blogs, Lucy! This has been a doozy of a year - very difficult. I didn't do the latest CAL yet, but started a circusey colored ripple for a niece's baby due the beginning of August. Just used my leftovers and was pleased at the result. It was really helpful to have a project to complete.

[charlotte m.]

Happy to see your window is open in the Attic. I too am happy for spring. It always is a light after the dark days of winter, which were especially dark this year. I took 2 weeks to finish my border on the meadow blanket and I love it so much. You are very clever with borders. They always seem just right. Once I rest up a bit from this CAL, I think I might buy the yarn for the Moorland blanket. I missed that one and it really calls to me. Have a lovely day and enjoy spring.

[Juliana Ellington]

I just read through most of the comments. I hope it is some comfort to you to read how much people care about you and how happy we all are to see a new post from you. So many people suffer from depression--chronic and periodic, and this past year of COVID has been so hard. I'm glad to read that you are practicing serious self-care. I don't think I have ever sent virtual hugs to any of the bloggers I follow, but I'm sending you a 10 second hug. I read that we need 9 seconds of hug to trigger the happy hormones, lol. Detroit, Michigan, US

[Susan]

Nice to have you back...yep life has been a strain for us all. Still, some hope on the horizon now..as long as people don’t go mad! Take care.
Xx

[Beth]

Such a relief to hear all is ok with you. I do so look forward to your posts full of UK local photos and seeing all your beautiful colourful crochet makes ... uplifting and inspiring. When you took a break, I catastrophized into covid worries for you or your family. It's a relief to hear your troubles are not directly covid related. Sending well wishes your way from Canada. xxx Beth

[Dawn Heffernan]

So so pleased you're back Lucy, was beginning to get worried about you! So enjoyed the Meadow cal, but it didn't feel the same without your Ta-dah post! Take care, soon be all over, lockdown and the big M!

[Dilly]

I rarely comment but just wanted to say how much I love your blog and Instagram.
You are such an inspiration to so many thousands of people all over the world.
I started crochet because of you and now 7 blankets later I love it so much. When I’m getting towards the end of a blanket I always slow down because I don’t want to finish! Also just to mention I have been exercising to LWR every single day since you posted about her can’t stop! Another inspiration from you. Spring is springing, the daffodils are looking lovely and things are looking up!, Many many thanks.x