Green and Light

Twice this week I've had evening dates with Little B. At seven o'clock on the dot he comes to get me and no matter what I'm doing (crochet, knitting, social media-ing, blogging, laundry folding etc etc, the usual stuff that fills my evenings) I am not allowed to dally. Come on, come on Mummy, it's time to go! So of course I drop everything, grab a bottle of water and off we go, out into the beautiful early evening of our neighbourhood. We've created an hour long walking route this week which is uniquely ours and it's just so lovely. We start out along the canal, pass under the old mill bridge and follow the narrow footpath around the bottom of the castle. Entering into the woods by the bottom gate where the Huntress stands, the scent is overwhelming, oh my, I feel almost faint with emotion when I take that first deep breath in. Wild garlic and all the verdant growth, it's so fresh and light and green, green, green. We follow the path through the woods almost as far as the pond, then take the steep stepped pathway up, up, up into the trees which is something we've never done before (we are usually walking the opposite direction and coming down those steps). It's a huff-puff climb, but fun to go from the bottom of the woods to the top in mere minutes. Sunshine and shadows, laughter and chatter, it's just so precious, every single nano-second of it.

Just before Christmas, Little B (then aged 8 and three quarters) abruptly decided he was too old to hold my hand as we walked to school (well, walking anywhere actually). And once he decided on this he absolutely refused to go back on it. Sometimes I would catch him reaching for my hand without thinking, then a flash of remembrance and he would snatch it away super-quick. I understood it, but still, there was a persistent stab of sadness when I thought about the change and felt the loss. This week since I've been home from France he has started holding my hand again, and oh my heart feels like it wants to break free and fly up into the wide blue yonder. I haven't said anything to him about it, have allowed him to silently reach for me without the need to remark on it. It really has been the sweetest, most heart expanding experience. You hear the phrase "pulling on your heart strings" and never has this felt more true for me, I swear I can feel it happening.

 The weather has been delicious this week, truly May at it's best and I want to soak it all in and store up all the feels. My emotions are running high at the moment - I recognise it, and think it's in part due to this time of year. I'm not over analysing it, just holding myself together and allowing the days to pass gently, knowing that all is as it should be. 

Anyhow - Little B and I have so enjoyed our walks together this week, hand in hand, non stop chatter, it's an hour out of my day that feels like the greatest gift. I am so grateful......thank you for sharing it with me.

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Comments

[Claire]

Hand holding: resonating and beautiful words Lucy !
My youngest is 10 , we hold hands always, ( her choice). I treasure it ! Xxx

[Elise]

You will treasure those walks for a very long time. I have four children and with my youngest I would think "will this be the last time I rock him to sleep?" "Will this be the last time he jumps into my arms?" It's wonderful to watch them grow up but those sweet moments are a treasure. I went and read your post from two years ago. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing.

[Winifred Waite]

They grow up so quickly as you say. Your grandchildren do too which is even sadder.

It takes a long time to cope with such loss, I lost my Mam nearly 50 years ago, I still miss her & am sad my children never got to know her. You don't get over it but you cope. Enjoy your own family & times like you've described, they are so precious. Thank you for sharing them.

[Sue]

Wonderful photos - I love this time of year too. Your story about your "little one" brings tears to my eyes ... mt littles are 10 and 12 - sometimes still hold mama's hand 💖

[Sarah]

I think I will copy you! Sounds so lovely. There's nothing near as pretty around here but there's a few nice places to wander to. :)

[Barbara]

I so enjoy seeing your beautiful photos and reading about your days. Your posts always touch my heart. Thank you for sharing. Enjoy!

[Abi]

Wonderful post, Lucy. Thank you for sharing. x

[Melissa]

Lovely photos and I so understand the handholding. My 8 year old granddaughter used to snuggle and then she quit but it is slowly returning. I am thankful for each small gesture I get!

[Laura]

I really understand you... thanks for sharing!

[Sherin]

Beautiful Lucy, thank you so much for sharing xx💕

[Dawn]

Beautiful Lucy, brought tears to my eyes. I'm not a mum but I could feel your happiness in that little gesture from your son. How wonderful for you xx

[Christine]

Another beautiful post....makes my heart sing. Only yesterday I sat looking out of my window at the same houses I have looked out on for more than 30years....but then I received your post and am lifted up. Thank you.
BTW I now have my hand held by my Grandson. ..really precious and unexpected.
God bless you and your family.
Xxxx

[Diane Smith]

Once again your blog has made a lovely inspiring start to my day. You live in a beautiful area as do I (North Devon). Unfortunately I need a car journey first to access the parts I love, but at least I have them.So breakfast first and then the dog and I will go explore!! Thank you for your blog Lucy, it is soooo much appreciated.

[Angela-southern USA]

Precious moments indeed! It's been a long time since any hand holding here and I still miss it. Have a wonderful weekend! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Nora McGrann]

Just gorgeous Lucy...loved this story xxxx

[Kimmy]

What a beautiful experience in every way. I love your photos and the talk and emotion that accompanies them. Thanks for sharing, Lucy. Big hugs to you and your entire family. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area we haven't had this much rain in May since 1957 when I was 5 years old. More is expected tomorrow. I'm not complaining after so many years of drought. The plants are loving it and it looks equally green here.

[Jennifer A Gately]

You have brought tears to my eyes. Pictures are beautiful, too!

[Miss Daisy]

What lovely life you have.

[Winwick Mum]

Love this xx

[CJ]

What a lovely post. My youngest, who was always so huggy, doesn't hold my hand any more at ten, but he's still quite cuddly which is nice. I hope you have a lovely half term. CJ xx

[Joanna Worthington]

Beautiful photos and words. So evocative. Thank you for a window into your world - you also lift my spirts when I read your blog. I remember those days with my two little girls, now grown women, one recently married. Fortunately they still hold my hand occasionally when we are out together, which is always a wonderful moment each time it happens. Thank you also for inspiring me to start crocheting some of your delightful blankets... I’m now well and truly hooked!

[Nina Kellock]

You can almost smell that garlic from the photo. Must get out to my favourite picking spot a couple of miles down the road, thanks for the reminder.
That feel of a child's hand in yours, first your own child then later, if you're lucky, a grandchild's hand. So special, takes your breath away doesn't it? I get the same feeling when my husband reaches for my hand when we are out, as I did when he first held it over forty years ago. Some feelings and emotions are beyond words.

[Karen Bond]

THIS <3

[Gracie]

Thank you for gifting us by sharing this precious season in your life with us, through this beautiful post, Lucy. xx

[Teresa Kasner]

What a sweet and inspiring story, dear Lucy. You are so wise to treasure each minute of your littlest one's young years. As you know with your two older kids, those precious times with your little ones are all too fleeting. I've been sewing in ends of my Dune blanket this afternoon.. just to keep them tidy as I crochet more rows. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)