I'm on the Slow Road

January is a month where I feel an instinctive need to hunker down, retreat into semi-hibernation, restore energy levels and revel in the cosy comforts of home. It's a slow-living month, a time for contemplation and gentle planning, for taking it easy.

Yesterday J had the day off work, so we chose to head out into the Dales and meander along a favourite patch of riverside for an hour or so. We haven't really ventured out very much of late, so it felt great to drive into the countryside and breathe in some fresh air and scenery.

It wasn't that cold really, the air felt mild and still, but the sky was a murky grey which made the landscape seem a little dull and sleepy.

But still....we both agreed how good it felt to walk slowly along this flat easy pathway, inhaling the fresh winter air and taking in the soothing sounds of the river.

Our walk was short, and afterwards we drove along to the picturesque village of Linton....

....to nestle into this gorgeous, cosy old pub and eat a very tasty lunch. It was a slow, gentle day, just enough exercise for me to handle at this time. Just enough.

You may remember a couple of weeks ago, I had been feeling under the weather? Well I eventually took myself to the doctor and after a little discussion was sent off for some blood tests. Let me reassure you, it's nothing serious, but I have honestly been struggling with my day to day routines of late, feeling utterly exhausted, fuzzy headed and unusually down in the dumps. And no wonder really - it turns out I have iron deficiency anaemia, as well as vitamin D deficiency. I tell you, it was such a relief to find this out, to be told that I wasn't just over tired, over weight, unfit, hormonal etc etc which is what I had begun to convince myself. Deep down I knew I wasn't right, but there was this nagging feeling that I should be coping better, should be feeling brighter, should have more energy and va-va-voom.

I can tell you that having an iron-deficient body and brain is blinkin' hard work. My brain hasn't really been functioning properly at all to be honest, I've felt discombobulated, been finding it hard to concentrate and remember things. I have felt on the brink of exhaustion pretty much all day every day, just the odd fleeting periods of feeling ok (usually after a whole day doing absolutely naff all).

But anyhow - of course the good news is that this is all fixable, although because my iron levels have fallen so very low, it's a slow recovery road that I'm on. I've got three months of hefty iron and vitamin supplements to get through, and oh I can't wait to begin to feel more like my usual self again. I miss the old me very, very much. This bone tired, dizzy, foggy, tearful version of me is pretty rubbish!

On the upside (and I believe there IS always an upside to be found), I am learning pretty fast to put my needs first and look after myself in this time of recovery. I have slowed myself right down physically and mentally, telling myself that it is entirely acceptable in the circumstances to adopt a slow shuffle through my days. And I don't just mean physically (although I am seriously slow on my feet right now), but mentally as well. I am spending a lot of time at home, quiet, thoughtful, not expecting too much of myself. I am using the time for planning too, getting my head around starting some exciting new crochet projects as well as finishing off some old ones too.

I'm starting with my original granny stripe blanket, re-making it with more standard dimensions (the original version is wide and short as it was made for my caravan seat). I'll be using the same stitch and row count as my recent Sunny Granny Stripe, which means adding an extra 30 stripes. I'm photographing the making as I go so that I'll have pictures to use for a printed version of this pattern to pop inside the original yarn pack. It's been bothering me for a while that two of my early yarn packs don't have a printed pattern included (next on the list is a proper pattern for the Chunky Raindrops Cushion). Revisiting this blanket, using colours that I am so familiar with is therapeutic work and it's suiting me very well right now. The actual pattern writing can wait for a few months, when hopefully my brain will be in better shape!

Last week I went every day to my studio to work, even though I was feeling quite low and run down. It was lovely, and I found myself getting all giddy over new colour combo's which has really got me all excited for new Spring projects. But really, home is right where I most want to be at the moment. I need rest and quiet, warmth and comfort. I am preparing hearty, healthy lunches to give me energy and nutrients. I am giving myself permission to light the fire and candles in the middle of the afternoon and making myself simply sit still and be. It's surprisingly hard for me to sit still I've found, I am such a fidget!

I've been enjoying life’s simple pleasures as the days crawl by - sweet little narcissi dancing on my mantel.....

....and some pretty pink hyacinths just coming into bloom.

And these rows of yarny colour too, oh this is the very best kind of pleasure, it really is. I sit and crochet row after row and think for the bobillionth time, how very much I love crocheting blankets. I am a Blanket Maker, and I have the best job in the world.

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Comments

[Sarah]

Lovely to see you on the mend. I understand about being a fidget, that's why I knit and crochet, that way I'm never really still! Take care. X

[lisa]

Lucy it is amazing how powerful a little vitamin D tablet can be. I was being tested for fibromyalgia and even MS as my joints ached constantly, I had zero energy and frankly getting dressed was an effort much less putting a sentence together or running a home. 4 days of taking 800mg of vitamin D and I was back to my old self. I cant recomend it enough. Im glad you are getting help and they got to the bottom of it, it can be very worrying not knowing the cause. Be kind to yourself - crochet is excellent for that - and you'll soom be bakc to yor bouncy bubbly self

[Hedda Gerlinde Sidla]

breathe, and breathe, and breathe again...I have been enjoying your posts for the past year and want to say I look forward every day to the colours and beauty of your environment and creativity...and the honesty you share.I love crochet and knitting, and have spent many hours making blankets and and doll clothing for 18" dolls...just because I love the process. I think sometimes we think we have to do more than we are doing...that's not true...do what is reasonable, take care of your energy...Spring is coming! xox Hedda

[Bj]

Oh Lucy...I'd love to wish you a speedy recovery, but this is a slow go. Been in those same shoes. Took several Drs and 1 1/2 yrs to finally be diagnosed. My D level was at 19. The D def is no fun! We got my numbers up in the 8 weeks of mega doses of D, but it takes a long time to completely recover. Hang in there sweetie, it does get better. We always have our crocheting💜

[Donna]

Lucy, I have been so worried about you! I am glad the doctors figured things out and that it is a fixable problem. May I tell you how much your cheerful, colorful blog has added to my life? Through you I have rediscovered crochet and it has literally been therapeutic for me. I am working on two of your blanket patterns with your wonderful yarn packs and the color just adds joy to my home. Thank you for sharing your talents and a bit of your life with us. Best wishes for a complete and speedy recovery. Even though we live thousands of miles apart and have never met, I sometimes pretend we are the best of friends and find myself thinking of you often.

[Claire]

I can sympathise with you Lucy, I too suffer from anemia and I have found that the iron tablets really do help, you will soon start feeling your old self again. X

[Chel @ Sweetbriar Dreams]

So sorry to hear this Lucy but your Dr has obviously got your best interests at heart, so keep up with their medication and advice and rest. You have the sunshine on your lap with your crochet and a roaring crackling fire to keep you company during the day. Enjoy it and get better soon xx

[MagicBean]

Probably your doc told you, or someone else has earlier on in the comments, but you need to have vit c to help with the absorption of the old iron. And don't stand to close to any magnets...

[Joy]

So sorry to hear that you have been feeling a bit low and as you say it is fixable. Take it day by day and you will soon be back to your old self. Take care and happy hooking in the meantime xx lots of love Joy xx

[Kath]

Echoing everyone else, Lucy. Look after yourself, and take things slowly. It's all too easy to spend so much time looking after everyone else, that we sometimes forget that we're important too. Remember what's important and concentrate on those things, the rest can wait - and that includes us in blogland. We may await your next blog with impatience, but we all understand your need for a bit of R & R. x

[Carol]

There are so very many of us who actually depend on you, Lucy. Your blog has become our "tonic" - and helped many of us get through those dark days when we feel like we just cannot muddle through. THANK YOU so much for all you do for us. I started crocheting again (after over 20 years layoff) about 3 years ago...and yours was, I believe, the first crochet blog I found...and the very first thing I attempted was your Blooming Cushion. That cushion still adorns our sofa - and provides a bright happy spot in the living room - and some memories of happy, relaxed crochet moments...

Thank you, Lucy, for all you have given to all of us. We are all indebted to you - and are all happy that your problem is "fixable". As long as you listen to your doctors and follow their advice, you'll be fine. Iron supplements can, indeed, be constipating - just keep an eye out for those and other 'strange' symptoms and report all to your doctor...and he/she will know what to do to help you. I think I'm suffering from the same thing now, as symptoms are about the same...and I've had this before...Plan to do what I can on my own for a bit and see if I can't 'fix' it. Glad you didn't wait, though. The worse it gets, the longer it takes to "come back" to 100%. Don't try to push yourself too hard...Schedule plenty of crochet (or knit) time - because that provides you with both relaxation AND - more importantly - enjoyment! We in the 'hooker sisterhood" know the pleasure that comes from working with beautiful colors and lovely, soft yarns. Yarny things are just as important for us as food - am I right?

DO take care...you are well-loved and respected by MANY, MANY of us all around this big, old world! and we CARE that you are taking care of yourself...and you can better care for that beautiful family if you take care of yourself.

Love you Lucy,
Carol D

[Vicki]

I'm anaemic too and was really surprised how quickly the iron tablets worked. I felt normal again after a week or so. It does clog you up somewhat so eat plenty of fibre.

[Bernadette]

Lucy, I'm so glad to hear that your doctor has pinpointed the problem and you're on your way to feeling better. Eight years ago I went through an awful experience with menorrhagia, eventually having to be hospitalized and have a blood transfusion, then taking iron supplements for six months afterwards. I've had no problems since then and I'm sure you'll be just fine as well! Very best wishes to you! Bernadette

[Lonormi Manuel]

Lucy, I'm so pleased you've sorted out what's going on, and have a plan to address it. Our younger daughter developed anemia in each of her three pregnancies, each case increasing in severity. During her last two, she had to take intravenous iron infusions at a chemotherapy center. Fortunately, her iron levels stabilized after her youngest was born, and have remained stable. Do take good care of yourself, and know that the thoughts of many are with you as you recover!

[Judith Pearson]

Sorry ,should have added an infusion is where they give it you through a drip ! it takes a few hours the first time you have it because it is doing in varying strength to make sure you are not going to have a funny turn. They check your blood pressure and ask you questions to check all is ok . It is very hard to get iron levels up with supplements or iron rich foods if you are very anaemic so do consider it as an option -it will have you better in no time !

[Judith Pearson]

Glad you have found out the reason for feeling so below par . That will be a worry off your mind.After 3 lots of small and large bowel surgery ,to prevent and cure cancer, I am left with an inability to absorb iron. If the iron tablets don't do the trick ask for an iron infusion. You have to go to hospital for this,and the first time you have it done you have to be monitored carefully in case of anaphylaxis, but the difference it makes is phenomenal! I go from a saggy ,low,dull,overweight,miserable 57 year old who can just about get through the day to someone who feels as bright as a button,able to walk,nay RUN ! around all day ! It takes about 3 to 4 weeks to feel the benefit but it makes you feel so much better !Get well soon !

[Michelle]

Lucy - I sympathise with you I went through the exact same thing a few years ago - my main worry was not being able to concentrate on things, forgetting things that people were telling me and my head seemed 'fuzzy' that sort of thing - I went to the GP and he said I was probably at the start of the 'menopause' and recommended I take Vitamin B100 - I did and I have been on it ever since and would never do without it now (even though I don't believe the 'm' has started yet!) xx I buy mine from Holland and Barratt and they are wonderful xx

[Judyk2310]

It's always good to find out the cause and then start the meds that will make you well again. Enjoy your time to rest, do what you want and know that it's okay. Everyone will survive and may learn a thing or two during this time. You have so many people around the world that care about you. You are blessed with your talent, your family and what you offer to all those in Blogland.

[crafty mema]

happy to hear you are on the road to recovery
enjoy the afghan
xooxoxox crafty mema

[Winwick Mum]

Sometimes, being at home and being slow is what we need to do. We push ourselves and rush around far too much until something stops us in our tracks. Enjoy the fires and the blanket stripes while you can because you know that you'll be back on top speed again soon enough! xx

[ava]

Hope you feel better soon Lucy. I was thinking you may have hypothyroidism due to your symptoms. I hope your iron deficiency gets better soon. Please be careful as it is easy to get (iron overload) and the iron deposits into the organs like the liver if you get too much. It is a balancing act for sure. The vitamin D will help you so much I am sure as well. Your blog is such an inspiration to so many. Thank you for sharing your creativity and writing. I love the new blanket your are making. Get well soon.

[Tracy🤗]

Hi Lucy,
Glad to here you can now begin to mend. Half the battle is knowing what is wrong. Just continue to take things steady and take what time you need. Blogs can wait, but I know that it is part of you, blog just a couple of sentences if that is all you feel you are able to do.
Take care x

[Marijke]

At least now you know what is wrong and what can be done. I hope you'll feel better soon, but take your time. And thanks for blogging in spite of everything.

[Daphne goodenough]

Ah at last Lucy you have the answer to your feeling so naff, what a relief to find it can be sorted, you are doing all the right things to get yourself right, and in a way although we all hate the gloom of this wet winter, it means it's so lovely to curl up at home and just do what we want, your cosy living room is inspiration, with the gorgeous REAL fire glowing in the hearth, and the occasional gentle outing to perk up your spirits, we have all been anxious about you, you are such an inspiring person, and colour means so much to you in your life as it does in mine, I think of you every time I sit down to do a few more rows of my sunny stripes, and enjoy your blogs so much, hurry up and get better dear girl, love to you and your family

[Liz Sawyer]

Thank you for still blogging when you are suffering with anaemia which I know can sometimes make it hard to breath never mind write. Good luck for your speedy recovery.