January is a month where I feel an instinctive need to hunker down, retreat into semi-hibernation, restore energy levels and revel in the cosy comforts of home. It's a slow-living month, a time for contemplation and gentle planning, for taking it easy.
Yesterday J had the day off work, so we chose to head out into the Dales and meander along a favourite patch of riverside for an hour or so. We haven't really ventured out very much of late, so it felt great to drive into the countryside and breathe in some fresh air and scenery.
It wasn't that cold really, the air felt mild and still, but the sky was a murky grey which made the landscape seem a little dull and sleepy.
But still....we both agreed how good it felt to walk slowly along this flat easy pathway, inhaling the fresh winter air and taking in the soothing sounds of the river.
Our walk was short, and afterwards we drove along to the picturesque village of Linton....
....to nestle into this gorgeous, cosy old pub and eat a very tasty lunch. It was a slow, gentle day, just enough exercise for me to handle at this time. Just enough.
You may remember a couple of weeks ago, I had been feeling under the weather? Well I eventually took myself to the doctor and after a little discussion was sent off for some blood tests. Let me reassure you, it's nothing serious, but I have honestly been struggling with my day to day routines of late, feeling utterly exhausted, fuzzy headed and unusually down in the dumps. And no wonder really - it turns out I have iron deficiency anaemia, as well as vitamin D deficiency. I tell you, it was such a relief to find this out, to be told that I wasn't just over tired, over weight, unfit, hormonal etc etc which is what I had begun to convince myself. Deep down I knew I wasn't right, but there was this nagging feeling that I should be coping better, should be feeling brighter, should have more energy and va-va-voom.
I can tell you that having an iron-deficient body and brain is blinkin' hard work. My brain hasn't really been functioning properly at all to be honest, I've felt discombobulated, been finding it hard to concentrate and remember things. I have felt on the brink of exhaustion pretty much all day every day, just the odd fleeting periods of feeling ok (usually after a whole day doing absolutely naff all).
But anyhow - of course the good news is that this is all fixable, although because my iron levels have fallen so very low, it's a slow recovery road that I'm on. I've got three months of hefty iron and vitamin supplements to get through, and oh I can't wait to begin to feel more like my usual self again. I miss the old me very, very much. This bone tired, dizzy, foggy, tearful version of me is pretty rubbish!
On the upside (and I believe there IS always an upside to be found), I am learning pretty fast to put my needs first and look after myself in this time of recovery. I have slowed myself right down physically and mentally, telling myself that it is entirely acceptable in the circumstances to adopt a slow shuffle through my days. And I don't just mean physically (although I am seriously slow on my feet right now), but mentally as well. I am spending a lot of time at home, quiet, thoughtful, not expecting too much of myself. I am using the time for planning too, getting my head around starting some exciting new crochet projects as well as finishing off some old ones too.
I'm starting with my original granny stripe blanket, re-making it with more standard dimensions (the original version is wide and short as it was made for my caravan seat). I'll be using the same stitch and row count as my recent Sunny Granny Stripe, which means adding an extra 30 stripes. I'm photographing the making as I go so that I'll have pictures to use for a printed version of this pattern to pop inside the original yarn pack. It's been bothering me for a while that two of my early yarn packs don't have a printed pattern included (next on the list is a proper pattern for the Chunky Raindrops Cushion). Revisiting this blanket, using colours that I am so familiar with is therapeutic work and it's suiting me very well right now. The actual pattern writing can wait for a few months, when hopefully my brain will be in better shape!
Last week I went every day to my studio to work, even though I was feeling quite low and run down. It was lovely, and I found myself getting all giddy over new colour combo's which has really got me all excited for new Spring projects. But really, home is right where I most want to be at the moment. I need rest and quiet, warmth and comfort. I am preparing hearty, healthy lunches to give me energy and nutrients. I am giving myself permission to light the fire and candles in the middle of the afternoon and making myself simply sit still and be. It's surprisingly hard for me to sit still I've found, I am such a fidget!
I've been enjoying life’s simple pleasures as the days crawl by - sweet little narcissi dancing on my mantel.....
....and some pretty pink hyacinths just coming into bloom.
And these rows of yarny colour too, oh this is the very best kind of pleasure, it really is. I sit and crochet row after row and think for the bobillionth time, how very much I love crocheting blankets. I am a Blanket Maker, and I have the best job in the world.
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Hi Lucy! I am a bit late with my commenting on this post.. but I do wish you to get well soon and get all your iron and vitamin D back!Take care of yourself!
I am revisiting your blog after a long time, and so glad to see little and big changes in your life.
Hope your little son is also completely fine after that surgery...
Wishing your family health first of all!
Hugs,
Anna.
Posted by: Anna | February 22, 2016 at 07:30 AM
I just got diagnosed with iron deficiency anemia a few months ago too. I also have been vitamin d deficient in the past. I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Kathleen | February 07, 2016 at 12:13 PM
I'm so sorry hear that you're under the weather and really hope that you start to feel brighter soon. I've only just read this post and I was stunned when you said that you had anaemia. I was told I had anaemia at the end of October, last year, and I was so relieved. I had been feeling run down every day for months and couldn't understand why I was finding everyday life so overwhelming. The tiredness I felt, on a daily basis, was debilitating and was affecting every aspect of my life. I started to pick up again after I'd been on the iron tablets for about a month. Good luck and best wishes with your recovery. x
Posted by: Kate | February 04, 2016 at 09:39 PM
Sending my love xxx
Posted by: Mariola | February 02, 2016 at 07:06 PM
I absolutely love your colourful blog. I too have been away ill and now recovering see your blog and smile and am encouraged to take up again where I left off. Also picked up my crochet hooks for the first time in ages. X
Posted by: annabelle | February 02, 2016 at 06:41 PM
Hoping you feel like your old self very soon. Lovely photos. Your home looks amazing!
Posted by: Cynthia Weaver | February 01, 2016 at 09:53 PM
((hugs)) xo susie
Posted by: susie | February 01, 2016 at 07:28 PM
Lucy,
I love your blog and cheerful crochet! I discovered that I should also take magnesium along with the megadose Vit D. Magnesium is necessary in the processing of D, if it is low as well (often the case) you will get headaches from the D. Just another tidbit to help in your recovery. :) Feel better soon!
Posted by: Pam | February 01, 2016 at 07:03 PM
Sorry to hear that you not feeling well. I have been there myself with iron levels so low that my nurse practitioner called me in a panic. Anemia is a strange thing in that it so slowly sucks the life out of you that you don't realize what is happening! However, as soon as your iron levels come back up you will begin to feel better fast and every time you look in the mirror, you will be surprised by the color in your face (or at least I was)! Hope you feel better soon!
Posted by: Marisa Buehring | February 01, 2016 at 04:16 PM
So glad,to hear that you're on the mend. Take it easy! 🌸 Mary.
Posted by: Mary Pugh | February 01, 2016 at 12:38 PM
I've recently been introduced to your site by a good friend, not because I crochet (unfortunately something I've never learnt), but because I discovered the joy of knitting socks. I'm loving your blog Lucy and I'll be looking forward to visiting often! I am very sorry to hear you're unwell but cheered to know you are on the road to recovery, albeit a slow one. Good to see you're taking care of yourself and I'm sure your family are looking out for you too, evident with you and J having such a delightful day together. Your photos show a lovely scene both inside and out.
Take care
Marjo.
Posted by: Marjo | February 01, 2016 at 05:43 AM
Great to hear you now have a diagnosis and can work on getting better! I think it's amazing that you can still write your blog and did that last tutorial for us all. I know how hard it is to rest .... Thank goodness for the crochet - at least the hands can keep busy. Take care and hoping you have a speedy recovery. Dora from Down Under.
Posted by: Dora Berenyi | February 01, 2016 at 03:57 AM
Lucy, I truly hope you are soon feeling well again, but I have to tell you that everything you described was experienced by two people I know, and both have subsequently been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. The vitamin D deficiency is pretty key to this, and I really hope it's nothing, and simply anaemia, but please please please ask your doctor to run blood tests for MM. It's something that can have awful effects if not picked up early. My husband has symptomatic MM, and it took months before he was diagnosed, difficult, painful months. Really sorry to drop this on you, I hate to upset you, but I would hate even more if you became more I'll and I'd said nothing.
Steph x
Posted by: Steph Holder | January 31, 2016 at 11:18 PM
hi lucy, i was diagnosed with the same thing over fifteen years ago and promise you you will feel better soon. just rest as much as you can. love the site and great photos too. Tracy x
Posted by: Tracy kristiansen | January 31, 2016 at 02:32 PM
Lucy, I am so glad you have found out what is wrong. Such a relief when you know you just don't feel right. I absolutely love your blog and you have made me think of my own homely pleasures more too. I have a very busy job and have to fit my crocheting around that and, boy, does it make me relax. There is nothing more soothing than crochet. Take care. Von xxx
Posted by: Yvonne | January 31, 2016 at 09:13 AM
Hi Lucy, I'm so glad you found out the reason for your lack of energy and fuzzy-headedness. I hope that the supplements help you to feel better soon. I love your blog, you are so inspirational. Very best wishes, Georgie xx
Posted by: Georgie | January 31, 2016 at 06:44 AM
Re my previous comment, I have just finished and steamed my Sunny blanket! It looks absolutely gorgeous and I am so glad I made it. Thanks, Lucy, for the brilliant idea of having such a vibrant and interesting project for the winter months. You are a genius. Carry on resting and dreaming until you are completely better. As you can see from all these loving notes, we are all happy to wait and are sending you warm, blankety love and hugs. x
Posted by: Stella | January 30, 2016 at 11:52 PM
Being on the slow road is very difficult for anyone called Mum. Hang in there it will get better.
Posted by: Charlotte | January 30, 2016 at 10:16 PM
Hello Lucy,
So pleased they have found what is wrong and you are slowly getting better. I know how you must have felt at times fir I am suffering the same and recently had an iron infusion which has helped I go back in approx. 6 weeks to see whether my levels are up. I just want to give you a tip when taking the iron tablets take with some pure orange juice, my doctor gave me thei tip saying that the body absorbs the iron better this way. Eat prunes and drink lots of water for the constipation. Good luck and you are like me a positive person so you will be okay.
Hugs
Hazel c uk
Posted by: Hazel | January 30, 2016 at 10:05 PM
So happy to hear you are on the mend. I look forward to your posts and I find inspiration and couragement at every turn.. Cheers, Teri from Staten Island, New York xx
Posted by: Teri Sullivan | January 30, 2016 at 06:45 PM
Dear Lucy, I just wanted to let you know I really love it how you can make the best of not so nice times, I see you as an inspiration in that department!
And also in the crochet one of course.... I learned how to crochet from your blog some years ago now, and I still love you patterns and colours.
I had unexpected surgery last weekend and am now healing while making a raindrops blanket; it's so comforting, thanks a lot for the pattern!!!
If you like you can see it on my blog: stinsplace.blogspot.com
I hope you will feel better soon dear Lucy and that you will be your old lovely self again, Hugs from Mirjam.
Posted by: Mirjam Roos | January 30, 2016 at 05:17 PM
Wishing you lots of good thoughts to get well soon. Happy crocheting xxxx
Posted by: Leah | January 30, 2016 at 04:17 PM
Hi there,I know you are very busy but I have just had my very own TA DAH! moment on my blog PAMCHINAHOLIC.I am a novice but have just completed my infinity blanket!I would be so proud if you could pop over and have a peek.Kind regards Pam.
Posted by: IGeorgina Pmela Davis | January 30, 2016 at 11:49 AM
I do hope you are feeling a little better now you're getting the appropriate treatment. It must be a relief to know what's wrong. Take things slowly, as you are doing, and you will soon be feeling your bubbly self again. Like the new blanket and it's lovely colours. Get well soon.
Posted by: Ann | January 30, 2016 at 10:43 AM
I have had problems with anaemia over the years, the first time it was so severe I had to have injections in my bum, which were painful to say the least! The last time it was really severe, I had tablets but sadly underlying problems meant that the treatments did not work at all, due, we discovered to chronic renal failure. This was a really bad time in my life, thirty years ago, and I know only too well all those symptoms you describe and how hard it can be at time to simply get up in the mornings, let alone cope with young children etc. When you get back to the old Lucy you will soon forget this time, but at least you know the signs now and won't leave it so long to see the doctor!
Posted by: Nina | January 30, 2016 at 10:10 AM