Breathing Deeply

Such a trying week here in the Attic. Despite the odd few hours of happy Playtime that I've been telling you about, pretty much everything else has been an uphill struggle. The weather hasn't helped, bleugh, it's been gross. So wet. So grey. So blustery. So yuckety-yuck. My big pushchair has a puncture in the back tyre which I'm waiting for J to mend, so I've been struggling with the small fold-up buggy. Its small wheels are not cut out for the rough, bumpy terrain of our canal-side school run, or an old town composed of many bumpy, cobbled streets. It's been remarkably hard, physically speaking, simply getting to where I need to be. The rain cover on the small buggy is also very inadequate and keeps flapping off. Plus Little B hates being under it, he cries and tries to kick it off. He's also started this really annoying habit of kicking his own shoes off as I'm walking along, so I've been forever stopping (in the wind and the rain), giving him a telling off and putting his shoe on again. It's taken some doing to remain calm, well in fact yesterday I did not remain calm at all and flew into a verbal tiz, shocking many innocent passers-by. Not to mention the poor Little People who are not accustomed to their Mummy yelling in public. Breathe Deeply. Inhale. Exhale. Try to stay calm.

We're heading into some changes to our routine too, which hasn't helped the stress levels this week. The above artwork was made by Little B, it's a painting of the sunshine. It was his first ever painting made at the sweet local Playgroup where he's started 2-hour sessions on a Wednesday and Friday. It's a lovely setting in an old church hall, run by very warm, kind playgroup ladies. It's  almost identical to the sort of playgroup I remember vaguely from my own early childhood. There's something about church-hall playgroups, the smell of them, the sweet modesty of the activities, that remains so constant over the years. A reading corner with piles of cushions and a fold out library of books. Sand to dig in. Painting easels and play-doh tables. Role play activities (a café setting this week), and a weeny trampoline to bounce on. A break for snack time, then some physical activities (bike riding and ball games this week). Then story time and singing. I love it very much.

It turns out that Little B doesn't much like being separated from his Mummy though. He chooses to cry and shout NO no No nO No NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been hard. But I'm told that once I'm gone, he soon calms down and begins to ease into the fun of the morning. It'll take some time but I know he's going to eventually love going there. Eventually. For now I Breathe Deeply. Inhale. Exhale. Try to stay calm.

I left the church hall in a bit of a fluster this morning, I felt quite tattered actually. I felt physically tired and emotionally strung out. So I did the first thing that came into my head. I walked to the nearest food shop (Marks and Spencer), purchased a danish pastry, marched home, made myself a coffee and went outside with it. It wasn't too cold, so I fetched an old cushion and sat at my damp table, drinking coffee, nibbling my pastry and Breathing Deeply. Inhale. Exhale. It felt good.

I looked around my poor neglected little back yard, with it's sad pots full of soggy dead things. Inhale. Exhale.

And I looked up to the sky and noticed that the rain clouds were finally beginning to clear. I was really delighted to see some blue up there, it lifted my spirits enormously. Spring will be peeking in soon, not long now. I think I might splash out some cash and buy some spring flowers to plant into my pots. Yes, it's a plan.

Incidentally, when I went to collect Little B from playgroup this morning, it was great. He was sat waiting for me, full of happy smiles, and the playgroup ladies said he'd had a lovely time. I felt overjoyed to hear of his happy playtime in my absence, and overjoyed to gather him up in my arms for a big cuddle. We stopped off at the market on our way home to buy some flowers. Always fresh flowers on a Friday. The plant man's stall looked incredible today, I wish I'd had my camera with me. There were many, many buckets of abundant spring lovliness! I deliberated for a while over what to get, I was very taken with the glorious tulips (the most amazing orange ones sang out to me) and the bunches of tight blue hyacinths. Oh and of course the daffodils, oh the daffodils looked amazing.

I gave in to the daffodils (2 bunches for £1.50) but then on an indulgent impulse I also plucked out a bunch of the most stunning anemones (£3.50).

Oh, and eh-hem, yes, well, a little extra something also came home with me today. Isn't this little milk jug lovely? It made my heart flutter when I spotted it in a shop window on Monday, and today it made my heart flip clean over when it became mine.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo sweet.

Oh these flowers. Oh. Such beauty! I'm Breathing that beauty in, inhale-exhale. Delicious.

They really have cheered me and lifted my flagging spirit today.

J isn't well at the moment either, and it's added to the stress of the week for sure. He's never ill. He has a hugely strong constitution, a hardy Yorkshire immune system and it's been many, many years since I've seen him so poorly. He's spent the past two days in bed with a very nasty head cold and fever. Poor man, he really has been knocked off his feet. So I've been fussing over him, keeping him supplied with food, drinks and pills (I even made homemade soup and I NEVER do homemade soup remember, so he is very honoured), and trying desperately to keep the house reasonably peaceful so he can sleep. Trying to keep three Little People quiet is very very hard and very very draining, especially in the bustle of our getting-ready-for-school routine. It's been a complete nightmare actually.

Ahhhhhhhh. Breathe Deeply. It'll pass. It. Will. Pass.

Just look at Little B. He sleeps surprisingly well squished into the small buggy on the way home from town, all tucked up under his blanket. But when he woke up he declared he was cold. He took himself to the sofa, got himself all tucked up in the ripple and waited patiently for me to provide Postman Pat entertainment. So sweet. Growing so fast. Two years old and going to Playgroup, crikey. We are fully into Toddlerdom now, no more baby-days.

Well......8.30pm and I am heading to bed with a cup of tea and a magazine to read. There's no place I would rather be.

Wishing you a weekend full of Happy Things, I'm wishing the same for myself. Yes, Happy Things would be good. ♥

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Comments

[Christine]

Oooo, flowers on a Friday! I love this - and I love your colorful blog! I am totally going to buy myself some flowers this Friday so I can enjoy them all weekend. :-)

[Lyndsey]

amazing flowers! Your crochet flowers were just recommended over on the Strebergarten as part of my post on calendula...

I'm so glad flowers are helping you find some respite in your busy days.

http://mystrebergarten.blogspot.com/2012/02/calendula-giveaway.html

There's still time to enter if you want too!

[Stephanie (foggyknitter)]

Maybe just wait til little B is absorbed in an activity at playgroup then sneak away? When I was little we had another child who came to share our nanny and her mum would say a big goodbye and her daughter would then get really upset, having previously been really happy. Just a suggestion? You have my sympathy because I was one of those clingy, screamy kids at nursery, but I actually remember a morning when I was upset at being left, then they distracted me with painting and before I knew it yellow and red were making orange and I was fine!

Keep breathing, hold your nerve and crochet.

[Trickster]

My lovely GP when I was in Oxford used to say "be kind to yourself" and I often think of this when I am feeling a bit yucky. A bunch of flowers, a danish pastry, a nice coffee, a little treat can do wonders.

I have a cold and for me it was boiled eggs and Marmite soldiers in bed this morning - having ventured out to the chickens and collected this morning's eggs!

[Wendy]

I love your polka dot jug - just the kind that I am looking for to sit on my kitchen table (hopefully in my new house). The weather has been particularly poo but spring is on its way and I'm sure that it will become brighter! My littlies are already at school and nursery Molly who is 16mths goes 2 days a week and although she seemed heartbroken at first they do adapt - she waddles in now with big smiles and goes straight to the other children to play no more tears or tantrums. Here's hoping you have a better week this week xoxoxo

[Adaliza]

I remember those days! I always thought if they kicked off at nursery, they were fine when they went to school. That's how it worked with our 3. I love your anemones - I almost bought some in Cornwall last week. People see picture postcard families and behind the scenes life is sometimes a bit uphill, but that's family life - always changing, always funny, very precious!

[Bruna]

Hi Lucy! I started following your blog just a couple of weeks ago. Your crochet works are adorable :) So are the flowers and the milk jug you bought :)
I hope things get better this week for you and your Little B.

[Judy]

Lucy I sent you a gift through PayPal and just want to know that you received it.
judyk2310@yahoo.com

[Deanna]

Just found your blog via a Pinterest post on your granny stripe blanket. Beautiful! Love the blog too! Waving at you from Savannah, Georgia, USA
Have a wonderful day!

[Cindy]

Hey Lucy, thanks for commenting on my blog. I also wanted to tell you that I used to watch two little boys (this was part of the post that I don't think went through, so if it did, ignore this!) Anyway, the boys were young when I watched them part time, but when they were 2 & 4, I watched them full-time. The two year old would just scream and throw a fit when his mom would walk out the door. You'd have thought I would beat him. The instant she got in the car, he stopped! She wouldn't even be out of the driveway yet. He'd realize the fit throwing did no good, and he'd go start playing. I would call her and leave a message on her machine at work so she could hear him not crying, but playing. It probably took her five minutes to get to work from my house, so she knew he stopped instantly. Amazing how they manipulate at such a young age. That same boy is 12 now. He loves me! I love him too.

Cindy Bee

[Heather Chalkley]

Oh Lucy ... I too remember fist day of nursery and the HUGE wrench ... the agony of the wait til I could return to collect my distraught little boy.... to be greeted by said son who said 'Jack not ready yet mummy' and I was left to stand and wait until he finished his painting! But hey - what a relief when you realise, they can actually survive!
Longer sunnier days on the way
Heather C

[Sally]

Hello there
Love your blog. What a week you had - I know the feeling! A couple of years ago I wrote a book about all the naughty things the under-fives get up to and I'd love to send you a copy to (hopefully) cheer you up. Just email me your address if you'd like me to pop one in the post to you.
Sally
x

[Seaweedandraine]

Hoping things get better quickly Lucy (J gets better, you have more sunny days, and the baby buggy gets fixed :)... do you call it a pram there?)
Love your gorgeous flowers - they really do cheer a person up - and I can think of no better use for the cute little milk just, really I can't! :)

[Sarah]

Lucy, well done for taking and leaving Little B at playgroup. I know you know that he will be fine, but it hurts to leave them screaming. However, far better at this age than to have them prised from you at school. My youngest has a friend who was still being pulled from his mother in year 3!! quite embarrasing for her and quite shocking for the other kids too.
The flowers are as lovely as ever and I certainly think you deserved the pastry. Keep up the good work. xxx:)

[P]

xxx

[Liz]

Lucy, I hope everything will be much better soon! And remember, breathe in, breathe out! It's always a good idea! :)

[Marleen]

Oh dear, I hope you were able to charge your battery this weekend with some sunshine and some time to yourself!! It's awful weather here as well (Istanbul) so we suffer together... what's worse: no daffodils or anemones being sold here!!! :-)

[Shannon]

Hang in there - my youngest cried EVERY DAY for preschool (I couldn't have left him, but like Little B, his teacher said he was just fine once settled) and now he marches off to band camps and scouts with hardly a backwards look. I hope your husband is back on his feet soon; glad you have pastry and flowers to lift your spirits. Your blog posts always lift mine.

[Bettina]

oh you poor darling! some days just breathing can seem like too much effort. hang in there. By the way, has anyone ever told you, you've got great jugs!! :-)

[Alaska Musher]

I LOVE your picture of "your poor neglected little back yard". It's a beautiful picture. You could use it for a "January" or "February" month on a calendar. Hope today is a happier day for you. Just remember ~ In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.~ (Norman Vincent Peale)

Alaska Musher

[Sasha]

Aww, Lucy, hugs for you. I know the feeling of leaving a crying child - it is gut-wrenching. But can improve - our Mr Nearly 3 does 2 days a week at daycare, and has just started going happily, waving me goodbye and going off to play - it has taken nearly 6 months, but he is finally happy to settle and stay :-)

[Jo Roberts]

Sounds like my week too! It is sort of nice to know someone else is as normal as you are. Two year old girl and a girl new at school who is soooo tired with the long weeks that she does not know what to do with herself. But then there are always other days in other weeks to make us smile.:)

[Jacqueline]

Hi Lucy my brother came across your blog a few months ago as he knows, i love to crochet in my spare time. I've just made him a wonderful colourful blanket, thank you so much for giving me inspiration. Am going to try a Paul Smith stripe design for my next project.
Hope you have a much better week, here in Brighton it has been a lovely sunny day, roll on spring.xx

[laura]

hi lucy, my name is laura and i live in Argentina, for years I follow your site, and I love, I wonder if we can communicate via email to spend ideas, I love all your photos and I love your site, I love your way of being a mother , and fix your house, as you give these details, well I leave my mail so we write is marialaurap@live.com.ar, a big kiss.

[Emma]

Thankyou so much for the images of those beautiful anemones. I'm about to start making tiny enamelled ones so will peep back here for some inspiration.I think it's been a tough week for a fair few of us. I do hope all is well now.