I am having a huge amount of difficulty finding enough words to chat at the moment, so please do forgive me if this post is a bit flat, or not what you would usually expect from me here.
Truthfully I've had a tough few weeks dealing with some unexpected curveballs. Wham, out of nowhere they have come, hitting me hard and knocking me off my feet for a while.
I've been trying to take care of myself whilst dealing with rather a lot of stress and worry. And sadness too. My poor Mum is very ill again, I had a call early last week to say she had been taken into hospital and although she is home now things are really not looking good. I am very worried for her and I am also 300 miles away which makes things extra difficult. Oh well, I am trying to hope for the best and will see if there is any way I can travel down to Dorset for a quick visit sometime very soon.
The weather here has somehow echoed my mood and it's been dull, grey and wet for much of the time. Autumn is creeping in, bringing it's damp and cold and I'm not particularly happy to be packing away my flip flops. In fact, exchanging flip flops for wellies has been pretty rubbish actually.
Some good things though....I have unexpectedly discovered a growing admiration for hydrangeas, after so many years of not caring one jot for them. I certainly wouldn't say I am smitten, but I have really found myself looking at the beautiful subtle colours of my neighbours blowzy bushes and finding myself liking what I've seen.
Yesterday, the rain eased up for a few hours and I went out foraging for Autumnal feel-good. I walked through the park, along the canal, around my neighbourhood, into town and back again, plucking little snippets of fallen nature from pavements, searching under the trees in the park and sneaking a few colourful oddments from bushes and trees as I walked past. I love how the drying, fading hydrangea flowers bring some beautiful pinks and blues to the Autumn Rainbow. I had a fun morning yesterday, playing with my gathered bits of nature and my camera and enjoying myself hugely. It took my mind away from the fretting and allowed me to free-fall through a wonderfully creative morning full of happiness. I'll share my photos with you in another post, they need their very own little ta-dah I think.
Autumn inspiration is once again creeping into my yarny world too, almost without me realising it. These are colours for a new blanket just beginning on my hook...........
.........I hunkered down in the studio on Monday whilst it poured with rain outside and counted that foundation chain veeeeeery carefully (198, no more, no less), then away I went with the first exciting row. Beginning a new blanket is one of the most exciting things in the whole wide world, and it never fails to make me insanely happy.
In fact, this past week I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done without crochet and colour in my life, it has lifted my spirits when I have felt very un-liftable. I have spent a lot of time close to home this week, but the little snippets of time I've had at the studio have been colour-soaked, creative and therapeutic.
Last week wasn't so good. Another curveball that I really, really didn't see coming and it knocked me completely upside-down for a bit. Very suddenly and unexpectedly, my friend Tracy came to tell me that she was leaving the studio. You may remember our story, it's been 18 months since we were both on our hands and knees scrubbing that old floor together and making this room come alive. It feels very empty without her there.
I have been very sad about her leaving, and due to the worry with my Mum, plus the extreme tiredness post-Yarndale, I was far more emotional than usual and spent a whole day bawling my eyes out. Poor Tracy, I know this hasn't been an easy decision for her and she probably wasn't expecting me to be so dramatic (that's not my style at all, I am usually able to take most things in my stride), but anyhow. I do totally understand her reasons for taking her handmade business back to the familiar comforts of home, and so I am trying hard to accept it and adjust. In fact, this week I have begun to sit down in the studio and take a good look around this precious room and realise that it'll be OK. The abruptness of the change has upset me, but I am starting to find the positive in it and move myself gently forward. I'll have more space to spread myself and my colourful clobber out in, more shelves to fill with yarn, more walls on which to hang bright, happy, creative things.
Every (dark, grey, wet) cloud has a (shiny, bright, happy) silver lining.....
ps I'm off to London to the Knitting & Stitching Show tomorrow, I'm rather excited! Next week I'll be back here in the Attic to tell you all about Yarndale, I know many of you are waiting for pictures. Sorry I haven't been up to doing it this week. x